Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Tantamountie. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of July 1, 2010

Canada has the best entertainers taxpayers’ money can subsidize. First up…

Hot Tub Time Machine

Stephen Hawking has it all wrong. You don’t need wormholes to traverse time and space; all you need to travel backwards through time is a bubbling bacterial bath teeming with your closest friends dead skin cells and dingle berries. Although in the case of this tactless time traveling comedy, a dose of potent Russian energy drink is also required.

To cheer their friend Lou (Rob Corddry) up after his failed suicide attempt, equally depressed Nick (Craig Robinson) and Adam (John Cusack) decide to escort him to their old stomping grounds in the mountains – to recapture their youth and show Adam’s nephew Jacob (Clark Duke) how to interact sans computer. Unfortunately, their once glorious resort has fallen on hard times. Not to be deterred, the quartet proceeds to party in the hot tub. However, the next day, they awake to find themselves in 1986, where all three men attempt to alter their unsavory future.

Though it’s suffused in time travel inaccuracies and paradoxes, this 80s reference riddled romp redeems its self through solid comedic performances and clever commentary on the current human condition.

As for traveling through time via Jacuzzi, it’s a lot more comfortable than an interpenetrating dimensional foosball table.  0

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

When lightning mysteriously goes missing, your prime suspects are likely any one whose hair is standing on end, burnt to a crisp or wearing rubber pants.

And while the young man accused of pilfering Zeus’ lightning bolt in this mythological adventure isn’t a rubberist, all signs do point to him.

On the very same day that he discovers that he is the son of the water deity Poseidon (Kevin McKidd), Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman) also learns that Zeus (Sean Bean) has given him 10 days to return the stolen lightning bolt; failing to do so will result in war.

Desperate to prove his innocence, the diminutive demigod and his two friends embark on a perilous journey to retrieve the missing bolt and save Percy’s human mother (Catherine Keener) from the clutches of Hades (Steve Coogan).

Based on the popular teen book series, The Lightning Thief is a rudimentary lesson in Greek mythology, specifically its rogue’s gallery.

And while this perfunctory tutorial negates profundity, it does contain enough action and humour to pique the interest of younger viewers, who, thanks to Twitter and Facebook, are already on their way to becoming prime examples of Greek parable because of their unbridled narcissism.  0

Creation

While creationism offers comfort in the knowledge that an omnipresent being is guiding our existence, evolutionary theory implies that in a few eons our enlarged brains will enable us to calculate how much to tip at lightning speed.

And while the naturalist in this biography isn’t concerned with the percentage of gratuity, he is torn between the two radically different hypotheses.

In the mid-1800s, an inquisitive scientist named Charles Darwin (Paul Bettany) begins toying with the concept of natural selection, a theory that he would later detail in his groundbreaking yet sacrilegious book,  “On The Origin of The Species”. While met with great admiration from the scientific community, the god-fearing population, including his wife (Jennifer Connelly), resent his findings. Added to his dilemma is the ailment of his eldest daughter, with whom he has a great affinity for, and regales with stories of his travels aboard the HMS Beagle.

Balancing Darwin’s detrimental discovery and his personal pathos, Creation creates a sympathetic rendition of the man who “killed God”. In addition, the unique cinematic approach to his theories is quite brilliant.

And while the debate over mankind’s creator continues, in the meantime, I’d be more than happy to collect the residual cheques.  0

The Crazies

Just because you live in a small town doesn’t mean that you’re crazy. It just means that your blue ribbon heifer is mostly likely your next of kin.

And while the townsfolk in this horror movie aren’t blood relatives with barnyard beasts, something in their blood is making them completely loco.

When an army aircraft carrying a mysterious bio-chemical crash lands in the main water supply of a rural Iowa township, the once peaceful residents pickup arms and begin murdering each other. With the odds stack against them, sheriff Dutton (Timothy Olyphant), his wife (Radha Mitchell) and his deputy (Joe Anderson) fight for survival, not only against the infected populace but also the US soldiers and scientists trying to contain the region. In doing so, sheriff Dutton uncovers a massive conspiracy with far reaching implications.

A remake of the 1973 classic directed by George A. Romero, this updated version constructs a more believable and timely narrative; however, in this interpretation the “crazies” are slightly tamer than their predecessor. Not only that, but it has a tendency to wallow in redundancy and clichés.

Besides, contaminating an entire rural population’s water supply is futile, since they only drink turpentine and never bathe.  0

***Gummi Barriers***

Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy

Like most North Americans, Canadians suffer from depression. However, above the 49th parallel we tend to refer to that state of sadness, emptiness and irritability as winter. Thankfully, Canada’s preeminent comedy troupe has manufactured the perfect remedy.

When a pharmaceutical company is on the brink of bankruptcy, it decides to bring an untested antidepressant to market. Although the drug, which triggers users fondest memories, becomes a huge success, prolonged use puts users into a coma. While the scientists behind the pill want to warn the public of the adverse effects, the company’s marketing branch is more concerned with their bottom line. 

Starring The Kids in the Hall (Kevin Macdonald, Dave Foley, Scott Thompson, Mark McKinney and Bruce McCulloch) in every major and minor role, Brain Candy is a treat for any fan of the quirky quintet.

As for how to end the tyrannical reign of greedy pharmaceutical companies...decriminalize marijuana.

He’s a Cannabus Driver. He’s the…

Vidiot