Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Recurring Dreamboat. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of Smarch 25, 2010

All are bored! First up…

The Blindside

Usually when you pick up a stranger on the roadside, the only thing that you get is your name in the newspaper next to the phrase “…was brutally murdered”. Fortunately, the Southern fried family in this football film got something better than that.

After offering a ride home to a homeless African American high school student, Big Mike (Quinton Aaron), Leigh Anne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) and her Caucasian family end up adopting him.

Slow to embrace his new surroundings, Big Mike soon learns that life with an affluent, white family has its benefits, including a personal tutor (Kathy Bates) and an opportunity to play University football.

While it does have a tendency to sway towards typical white-person-educating-inner-city-youth territory, The Blindside’s real life source material keeps it authentic.

Now, if only every rich, white family in the Southern United States would take in an African American...oh, wait, that was abolished.  0

Brothers

The biggest difference between having a brother over having a sister is that their hand-me-downs don’t get you as beat up at your all boys junior high school.

And while the brothers in this drama no longer exchange clothing, they still benefit from having a male sibling.

Recently paroled, Tommy (Jake Gyllenhaal) returns home just in time to see his brother Sam (Tobey Maguire) ship off to Afghanistan. Compelled to keep an eye on his nieces and sister-in-law Grace (Natalie Portman) in his brother’s absence, Tommy takes on an even bigger role when Sam goes MIA. But when Sam returns from war, Tommy’s intensions towards Grace are called into questioned.

With strong performances all around, Brothers is a quality film about the strange acts committed during wartime on both the frontlines and the home front.

As for moving in on your brother’s wife, that’s only acceptable if you’re a twin.  0

The Men Who Stare at Goats

Usually the men who stare at goats turn out to be the type of men who also sleep with goats.

However, in the case of this film, the men staring at goats are highly trained psychic soldiers in the New Earth Army.

Recently divorced journalist Bob (Ewan McGregor) decides to prove his worth by heading to Iraq. After arriving, he meets Lynn (George Clooney), a soldier who claims to possess paranormal abilities – given to him by the U.S. Army. Intrigued, Bob shadows Lynn, who reveals more about the secret unit as the two try to locate its hippy founder (Jeff Bridges), and overthrow its new leader (Kevin Spacey).

Based on varying anecdotes concerning the military’s involvement in psychic warfare, TMWSAG is more a screwball comedy than a factual account.

As for identifying soldiers that may be clairvoyant, that information is protected under the U.S. Army’s ‘Don’t ask, don’t foretell’ policy.  0

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Without foxes, British aristocrats would have to chase peasants through the forest. And while treeing a serf with bloodhounds does sound brilliant, their pelts rarely fetch more than a farthing.

Luckily, foxes do exist. Furthermore, they’re quite the characters, as revealed in this stop-motion animation adventure.

Years after he promised his wife (Meryl Streep) that he wouldn't steal, Mr. Fox’s (George Clooney) animal instinct compels him to spearhead nightly raids on nearby farms. Unfortunately, his actions land him, his family and their animal friends in a war against three local farmers.

Based on the book by Roald Dahl and directed by Wes Anderson, Fantastic Mr. Fox is an imaginative film brimming with terrific characters, set designs and wry vocal performances from Anderson mainstays, like, Bill Maurry, Jason Schwartzman and Owen Wilson.

As for the stealing prowess of foxes, don’t make me laugh. They don’t even know how file sharing works.  0

***Head of the Clash***

Dangerous Minds

The most dangerous thing about a young mind is its inability to comprehend sentences that don't end with the word 'dude'.

And while the educator in this drama doesn't use such lowbrow vernacular to reach her students’, she does use lyrics.

When LouAnne (Michelle Pfeiffer), a recently divorced Caucasian marine, accepts a teaching job at an inner city high school, she has a hard time getting the predominantly Hispanic and African American class to respect her.

Desperate to connect with the troubled teens, she employs her army training and love of music to teach the students that song lyrics are just poetry in disguise.

Based on a true story, Dangerous Minds may be on par with every other white-person-educates-inner-city-youth movie out there, but its rough-and-tumble cast and Coolie penned soundtrack make it one of the dopest.

As for how to reach young minds, simply start every sentence with the abbreviation ‘OMG!’, dude.

He Craves the Detention. He's the...

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