Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Glutton for Publishment. He’s the…

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Week of June 17, 2010

Building an e-book shelf is virtually impossible. First up…

The Book of Eli

Unless it’s written by Nora Roberts or empathetically recommended by Oprah, I don’t read books – call me when they make The Movie of Eli. Oops! My mistake. Apparently this is a movie, and not just a bunch of sentences and paragraphs written in high-definition.

In a post-apocalyptic America, an enigmatic wanderer, Eli (Denzel Washington), heads towards the San Francisco Bay where he hopes to deliver the last copy of the Holy Bible to a group of antiquarians. Unfortunately, while resting in a roadside community, he and his propensity to preach scripture attracts the attention of Carnegie (Gary Oldman), an ambitious tyrant who desires the good book to beguile people and secure an authoritative position. Unwilling to relinquish his property or fail in his mission, Eli and his new ward (Mila Kunis) continue on with their pilgrimage, with Carnegie in hot pursuit.

Though it’s set against a cookie-cutter wasteland, The Book of Eli manages to blend break-neck violence with biblical verse, creating a rousing, slightly optimistic interpretation of life after Armageddon.

And while stopping Eli is unlikely, you could stall him by means of lengthy theological debate by introducing him to the guy carrying around the last copy of the Qur'an.  0

When in Rome

When-a in-a Rome-a it’s-a important-a that-a you-a add-a letter-a “a” to-a the-a end-a every-a word-a, so-a they-a can-a understand-a you-a.

Fortunately, the career minded New York City woman in this romantic comedy doesn’t have time to talk to the locales on her trip to Italy, because she’s too busy flirting with a fellow Yank she met at her sister’s wedding.

When recently dumped Beth (Kristen Bell) agrees to be her sister’s maid of honour she becomes smitten with the best man, Nick (Josh Duhamel). But when he turns out to be a big jerk, she steals coins from the Fountain of Love in an act of defiance. Unfortunately, when she returns Stateside she’s suddenly hounded by the owners of the stolen coins (Will Arnett, Jon Heder, Dax Shepard, Danny DeVito) who are all mysteriously infatuated by her. Now, she must return the coins to the owners before she’s suffocated by their love.

A slapdash, slapstick, schlock-fest, When in Rome fails to attain either romance or comedy: the patchwork storyline is discombobulating, while the jokes are ham-fisted and trite. 

Besides, when in Rome the only thing you should be stealing out of the public fountains are those priceless ancient Roman statues.  0

Youth in Revolt

If today’s youth ever revolts, who will update the Twitter accounts? Who will pick the Teen Choice Award winners? Who will expect top dollar for little or no work ethic?

Thankfully, years of indolence have made it impossible for young folks to care about anything other than their own narrow worlds, which includes their raging hormones.

When 16-year-old introvert Nick (Michael Cera) spends the weekend with his father (Steve Buscemi) in a trailer park, he meets the extroverted Sheeni (Portia Doubleday), who temps the unsullied and inexperienced Nick to no end. Desperate to be with her, Nick creates a sexually experienced persona, Francois, to help him seal the deal with Sheeni. But when his mother (Jean Smart), her boyfriend (Zach Galifianakis), and Sheeni’s on-again off-again boyfriend threaten his romantic plans, Nick must evoke the badass Francois on a more permanent basis.

A wry and witty coming of age tale, Youth in Revolt is surprisingly entertaining: Cera shows he has some acting depth, while the music cues and comedic bits are innovative and inspired.

And while teenage boys rarely create alter egos in order to bed females, there are probably tons of guys who do so after a positive pregnancy test.  0

***Ciao Time***

Rome Adventure

Love, like Rome, is not built in a day. It takes years of rejection, simple gender misunderstandings and lowered standards to erect amore. A lesson the chaste young American in this love story is about to learn.

Subsequent to quitting her job, Prudence (Susan Pleshette) travels to Rome to find love. While on the ship, she’s placed in a love triangle between a fiery Italian and a stuffy Yank. Upon arriving in the Eternal City, she encounters Don (Troy Donahue), a heartbroken architect who takes her on a whirlwind moped tour. But just as their relationship blossoms, Don’s ex (Angie Dickinson) returns.

Shot entirely in Italy, Rome Adventure is a cinematic postcard that fully engages you, despite the fractured trysts and Prudence’s sexual naiveté.

And while Rome isn’t an idle place for a vestal virgin to vacation, it’s way safer than sojourning on an island with an angry volcano god.

He's a Generous Lava. He's the...

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