He’s a Lamethrower. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of June 24, 2010
Uncle Sam’s wife is Auntie American. First up…
Green Zone
The war in Iraq has contributed quite a lot to the economic wellbeing of many hardworking Americans, specifically those who specialize in the construction of coffins, as well as those who manufacture American flags to drape over said coffins.
And while this fictitious action/thriller isn’t concerned with those folks who'll shroud and build the caskets, it does address those who’ll occupy them.
In the wake of America’s 2003 invasion of Iraq, Chief Warrant Officer Miller (Matt Damon) and his squadron are tasked with the mission of locating weapons of mass destruction. After turning up empty-handed, Miller begins to question the validity of his intel, even though a government official (Greg Kinnear) stands behind it. Later, Miller encounters a plucky journalist (Amy Ryan) who confirms his worst fears: the Pentagon is establishing a puppet government in order to gain access to Iraqi oil supplies.
While it follows in a long line of post-9/11 war movies, Green Zone actually adds a little more action to its anti-war sentiment and conspiracy theorizing, thanks impart to Paul Greengrass’ kinetic, albeit dizzying, direction.
Fortunately, America no longer needs to invade other countries for oil, since the Gulf of Mexico is now covered in it. 0
Remember Me
The best way to ensure that someone will always remember who you are is to repeat your name as many times as possible as you are horribly disfiguring their face.
Thankfully, this doomed love story isn’t about some macabre memorization method, it's about two college kids dealing with the death of family members in two very different ways.
Still reeling from the affects his brother’s suicide, cynical Tyler (Robert Pattinson) finds solace in Ally (Emilie de Ravin), an optimistic young girl who learned to appreciate life after having witnessed her mother’s brutal murder. As the two hit it off, Ally’s police officer father (Chris Cooper) feels that Tyler’s devil-may-care attitude is adversely affecting his daughter’s behavior. At the same time, Tyler’s father (Pierce Brosnan) is trying to deflect his son’s vicious verbal attacks that are motivated by his feelings of abandonment, brought on by their family’s loss.
While the story does conclude with a substantial shocker, reaching that apex is a pretty daunting task, due to the mournful meandering of the leaden lovers, and overabundance of daddy issues.
As for sorting out mental recall, remember this simple rule: Basketball players go in the long-term, midgets go in the short-term memory. 0
She’s Out of My League
Falling for someone out of your league is like falling for someone out of your species – it just won’t work; even if you and that fancy show poodle were made for each other.
And it’s that same erroneous reasoning that has caused a ruckus amongst the friends of the lanky loser in this gross-out rom-com.
When a toothsome passenger (Alice Eve) leaves her phone at airport security, sad sack employee Kirk (Jay Baruchel) recovers it. When she calls her phone, Kirk answers and the two make a date to meet up, so he can return it to her. Making a good impress, Kirk secures a few follow-up dates, which includes introducing the successful party planner to his obnoxious friends and dysfunctional family, all of whom are baffled by the pairing. Unfortunately, Kirk’s insecurities, his lack of self-esteem and his meddling friend’s force him to sabotage the relationship.
While it’s in the vein of a raunchy sex-comedy, She’s Out of My League rises above the standard foulmouthed fare by balancing the depravity with humour and humility.
What's more, if anyone ever tells you someone is out of your league, you put down that bowling ball and you pick up that shuttlecock. 0
The Last Station
Though most people feel that it’s Russian literatures excruciatingly long narratives that make it impossible to read, I feel that it’s the fact that they’re written in Russian that makes them so unreadable. Fortunately, English-speaking performers are acting out these final days of famed Russian author Leo Tolstoy’s life.
Russia 1910: Aspiring writer Valetine Bulgakov (James McAvoy) is hired by Vladimir Chertkov (Paul Giamatti) to work for his idol, Leo Tolstoy (Christopher Plummer), at his country estate. In addition to transcribing Tolstoy’s thoughts, Valetine is also order to surreptitiously record everything that Tolstoy’s passionate yet volatile wife (Helen Mirren) has to say about her idealistic husband’s controversial will, which will make his work public domain upon his death, leaving his family destitute. Caught in the crossfire of the two lovers, Valetine follows their lead by getting mixed up with a fellow fiery Tolstoy follower.
While the tumultuous and impassioned relationship between the Tolstoys is a wonder to watch, especially the manic performance of Helen Mirren, the supplementary love story between the younger couple is somewhat superfluous.
Furthermore, despite their impassive personalities, Russians are as emotional as any human being, save for the fact that they cry tears made of vodka. 0
***Tsar-crossed Lovers***
Nicholas and Alexandra
Renaming itself every five minutes, putting its dead politicians on display and having a dog as its first astronaut, Russia is one peculiar place. So it’s no wonder its royalty was so inept.
During the Russian revolution, the reigning monarchy, headed by Nicholas II (Michael Jayston) and his wife Alexandra (Janet Suzman), begins to neglect the needs of the people when the Tsarina comes under the influence of a mystical and power hungry monk named Rasputin. Soon after, the Tsar, Tsarina and their children are ousted and exiled to Siberia.
The most comprehensive film depiction of one of history’s most celebrated couples, Nicholas and Alexandra encapsulates the lovers dynamic relationship, as well as the uncanny events and the crazed conspirators who helped assure the demise of the Romanov Dynasty.
Fortunately, with the deadbeat Tsar gone, Russia could finally attain perfection through the installation of the Utopian ideology known as Communism.
He's Full of Bolshevik. He's the...
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