Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Sketchy Comedy Writer. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of September 9, 2010

Everyone’s a bad comedian. First up…

MacGruber

There are three telltale signs you’re watching a comedy based on a Saturday Night Live sketch: the title character is wearing a wig, the jokes are abysmal, and there are no Asians in the cast.

Obeying that rule of three is this offering inspired by MacGyver.

When his nemesis Von Cunth (Val Kilmer) hijacks a nuclear warhead, ex-special agent MacGruber (Will Forte) comes out of retirement with a vengeance.

Forming a team consisting of Vicki St. Elmo (Kristen Wiig) and Lt. Piper (Ryan Phillippe), MacGruber sets out to stop Von Cunth from getting the passcodes needed to launch the warhead.

While his minute-long sketches usually find MacGruber defusing a bomb, in his film debut, however, he just stars in one.

Pieced together with a pipe cleaner plot and poop jokes, MacGruber’s big mistake is that, unlike SNL, it doesn’t use a flashing laugh prompter to tell viewers something is funny. 0

Killers

A surefire way for a wife to tell if her husband is an assassin is if he fastens a silencer to his penis before sex.

Unfortunately, for the suspicious wife in this action-comedy, her contract killing consort doesn’t have a suppressor strapped to his barrel.

While on vacation with her parents, the recently dumped Jen (Katherine Heigl) meets a hit man, Spencer (Ashton Kutcher), whom she takes an instant shine to.

Three years later, Spencer has retired; the two are now married and living in the suburbs. But when Spencer refuses to take a new contract, a bounty is placed on his head.

Targeting the romantic, action and comedy genres, Killers misses its mark on all counts: the couple has no chemistry, the action is cartoonish, and the comedy is clunky.

Besides, marrying an assassin isn’t all that bad – they’re usually orphans, so you’ll never have to meet their parents.  0

Solitary Man 

The reason older men gravitate towards younger women is because, unlike older women, they cannot tell the difference between 8-carat and 24-carat.

And while the smarmy dingo in this drama isn’t buying precious gems for his Lolitas, he is sleeping with them.

When his doctor tells him that he doesn’t have long to live, Ben (Michael Douglas) begins philandering.

Divorced from his wife (Susan Sarandon), he shacks up with Jordan (Mary Louise Parker). But when he beds her daughter (Imogen Poots), he is ostracized.

Destitute, he turns to his daughter (Jenna Fischer). But when that fails, he returns to his old college, in search of his youth.

A lamentable account of a midlife Lothario learning life lessons too late, Solitary Man features a poignant plot and a first-rate performance from Douglas.

Nevertheless, older men do fulfill the needs of younger women, i.e. paternal love and the desire to change diapers.  0

***Body Shot with a Skirt Chaser*** 

The Ladies Man

To be a true womanizer you must play two separate but distinct roles. With women under 25, you must be the inconsiderate bad boy; with women over 25, you must be the sensitive nice guy with a good job.

Unfortunately, the ladies’ man in this comedy just lost his.

When the host of a sex advice radio show, Leon Phelps (Tim Meadows), is fired from the airwaves, he and his producer (Karyn Parsons) are forced to find other means of employment.

To further complicate matters, Leon’s philandering ways catch up with him when a group of husbands whose wives have been seduced by him are out for his blood.

Based on a SNL sketch, The Ladies Man is a prime example of the live variety show's ability to transform a humorous five-minute sketch into an abject 80-minute feature.

Besides, it’s unlikely that a radio-show host could ever be a sex-machine.  

He’s a Contract Lady-Killer. He’s the…

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