Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Creative Juicer. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of August 26, 2010

Sex is a sperm of the moment type of thing. First up…

The Back-up Plan

Since they won’t care about its existence, teen dads would be the ideal choice for females desperate to conceive.

Nevertheless, the baby crazy, single lady in this rom-com is opting for artificial insemination in lieu of classic copulation.

Independent and unattached, Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) reaches the point where she must enact plan B, if she hopes to be a mother. 

Auspiciously, she meets the perfect candidate, Stan (Alex O'Loughlin). Inauspiciously, she’s already been inseminated.

Stepping up to the challenge, Stan vows to raise the child as his own. But when he shows signs of unease, Zoe questions his commitment.

Though a paradigm of modern families, instead of birthing a comedic compendium for odd couples, The Back-up Plan’s parturition is nauseating, narcissistic and naïve: the leads are uneven and the plot is implausible.

I mean, come on, artificial insemination? What guy wants to raise a cyborg baby that’s not even his?  0

***Fertility Drug Addict***    

Junior

The real reason why men cannot get pregnant is because, if they could, virtually every child would be born with fetal alcohol syndrome.

And while the pregnant man in this comedy is not a lush, his newborn may come out of the womb with fetal steroid syndrome.

When funding is revoked on his new fertility drug, Dr. Hesse (Arnold Schwarzenegger) decides to continue his research, using himself as the guinea pig.

With physical aid from his friend Dr. Arbogast (Danny DeVito) and financial aid from Dr. Reddin (Emma Thompson), Dr. Hesse brings his baby to term, all the while suffering the emotional aches and pains that come with the gestation of a child.

Though it’s not as comical as it aspires to be, Junior is an interesting foray into the gender-bending genre, which finds a masculine archetype reduced to feminine stereotype.

Nevertheless, Schwarzenegger’s leathery nipples would be impossible to suckle.

He’s in a Breastfeeding Frenzy. He’s the…

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