Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s Hard Décor. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of August 5, 2010

The shit just hit the Casablanca ceiling fan. First up…

Kick-Ass

The reason why regular folks don’t take up the mantle of super-hero is because empathy is their Kryptonite. Also, the hours suck.

Luckily, the idealistic fan-boy in this bawdy comic book movie has the compassion, free time and health coverage needed to combat crime.

Tired of his mild-mannered existence, awkward teen Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) dons an emerald guise and patrols the streets as Kick-Ass.

Garnering celebrity due to a viral video depicting his brutal brand of justice, Kick-Ass soon attracts allies–Big Daddy (Nic Cage) and Hit Girl (Chloë Moretz)–and enemies–Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) and Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong).

Based on the comic book by Mark Millar and John Romita, Jr., Kick-Ass is a cocksure concoction of sardonic scenarios, brutal violence and offensive annotations all masterfully mixed together by director Matthew Vaughn.

Sadly, my own comic book alter ego would have to be the obsequious henchmen: Kiss-Ass.  0

The Ghost Writer

If you ask me, all writers are ghostwriters: pasty skinned beings in shabby clothes trying to squat in your house rent-free.

And while the scribe-for-hire in this mystery isn’t composed of ectoplasm, he is staying in his new employers house for free.

Hired to ghostwrite the memoir of Adam Lang (Pierce Brosnan), former UK Prime Minister, following the death of the previous ghostwriter, The Ghost (Ewan McGregor) moves into Lang’s stateside beach house.

Staying in his predecessor’s bedroom, The Ghost discovers evidence suggesting Lang was a puppet for the US during his time in office. Unfortunately, this knowledge may cost him his life.

Directed by Roman Polanski, The Ghost Writer is a top-flight thriller: the leads are superb, the story is enthralling and the direction is commanding.

However, to really sell a biography nowadays, Lang’s going to have to insinuate in it that the Queen molested him as a kid.  0

The Diary of a Wimpy Kid

I’m hard-pressed to believe a wimp could keep a diary. In fact, a true weakling wouldn’t even be able to lift a pencil to write in one.

Fortunately, thanks to computers, kids no longer have to exert any energy to write diary entries or anything else.

Determined to be the most popular kid in middle school, Greg (Zachary Gordon) will do anything to gain the admiration of his peers, including turning his back on his less-than-cool friend Rowley (Robert Capron).

But when Rowley is suddenly well liked, Greg’s left with egg on his face and moldy playground cheese in his belly.

Based on the illustrated novel, The Diary of a Wimpy Kid is a brawny comedy: the characters are wacky, the situations are zany and the theme of schoolboy camaraderie is a welcome change.

In fact, young men everywhere should refer to their chums as their BFF (Boy Friend Forever).  0

***Student Body Fat***

Angus 

High school can be difficult for boys. Not only are their bodies changing, but they must work extra hard to lag behind their female classmates.

Unfortunately, the teen in this dramedy also has to cope with weight issues. 

When beefy outsider Angus (Charlie Talbert) is chosen to dance with his longtime crush Melissa at this year’s Winter Ball, he’s as stunned as everyone else.

Concerned over his left feet, Angus seeks the counsel of his irascible grandfather (George C. Scott), who teaches him about dance and self-worth.

But when Angus learns the whole thing is a prank orchestrated by Melissa’s boyfriend Rick (James Van Der Beek), his newfound confidence diminishes.

A touching underdog tale about being true to oneself, Angus is a comedy with a conscience, tackling some hefty teen issues. 

However, gaining real self-assurance doesn’t occur until your high school reunion, when all your peers are the fat ones.

He Eschews his Food. He’s the…

Vidiot