Be Kind, Please Rewind

He has a Sweater Vested Interest. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of July 22, 2010

I love being booby-trapped. First up…

The Runaways

If you ask me, The Runaways sound like the kind of band that one would go see with a pimp who is looking to replenish his underage prostitute coffers.

And while the members of this rock n’ rebellious girl group aren’t hookers, they do have to swallow plenty of cockamamie ideas in order to succeed in the male dominated music industry.

Formed by eccentric record producer Kim Fowley (Michael Shannon) in 1975, The Runaways are comprised of 5, 16-year-old female musicians clad in leather and lace. With the precocious Cherie Currie (Dakota Fanning) on vocals and the ill-reputed Joan Jett (Kristen Stewart) on rhythm guitar, the group garners a huge fan base. Unfortunately, the road takes its toll on the inexperienced girls and they lose themselves to drugs, drink and ego, ultimately tearing the band apart.

Based on Curry’s memoir, The Runaways is a satisfactory biopic of a band that spawned more successful solo careers than 1# songs, however, while it has its merits, i.e. visceral visuals and sleazy soundtrack, it’s just not that tragic of a band biography.

Besides, everyone knows the most shocking disintegration of any musical collaboration is, and always will be, the breakup of a one-man-band.  0

Cop Out

Now I’m not up-to-date with today’s lingo, but I do believe that the phrase to “cop out” means to drink heavily, get a divorce and insistently complain about your pension and/or ulcer.

And while the cop in this comedy isn’t intoxicated, he is showing “cop out” symptoms pertaining to both matrimonial and financial woes.

When NYPD officers Monroe (Bruce Willis) and Hodges (Tracy Morgan) botch a police chase, they are suspended. To make matters worse, Monroe’s daughter (Michelle Trachtenberg) is engaged, and the only way to save face with her–and show up her stepfather (Jason Lee)–is to pay for the entire wedding. But with no income, he’s forced to sell a prized baseball card, which is subsequently stolen and used as leverage by a thug, who’ll only return it if Monroe agrees to recover a stolen car.

Directed by Kevin Smith, this foulmouthed farce is unfortunate: the premise is pathetic, the action is antiquated and whatever jokes there are, are drawn-out to the point of annoyance.

Furthermore, no true trading card enthusiast would ever sell a card to pay for a wedding, because no true trading card enthusiast would ever get married, or know anyone else that would.  0

The Losers

Finally! They’ve made a comic book movie about the people who actually read comic books.

My mistake. Apparently this movie isn’t about infantile males ogling super-herotic images in their parents’ basement, it’s about a group of mercenaries seeking revenge.

While on a mission to assassinate a Bolivian drug dealer, Clay (Jeffery Dean Morgan) and his team of killers (Chris Evans, Idris Elba, Columbus Short, Óscar Jaenada) are betrayed by their benefactor, Max (Jason Patric), who sabotages the team’s escape plan. Unfortunately for Max–a man in the midst of selling “green” weapons on the open market–The Losers survive.

Lying low, with the world thinking them dead, Clay and his boys plot their revenge, which involves kidnapping Max. During that course of action, however, they accidentally appropriate his hard-drive and recruit a new member (Zoe Saldana) who has a personal connection to the Bolivian job.

Based on the Vertigo comic book series, The Losers is an ostentatious ensemble action flick: the violence is vibrant, the acting is over-the-top and the direction is stylish.

In fact, it should become a Comic-Con tradition to chant the title of this movie/comic book at the top of your lungs while circulating amongst the crowds.  0

***Comic Book Conventionality***

Comic Book Confidential

Thanks to the popularity of comic book properties, bullies will now read the comic book he or she steals from the nerds, before rolling it up and beating them with it.

And while that's one instance of the current cultural acceptance of this once maligned literary form, this in-depth documentary about the subject will show you just how far comic books have really come.

Featuring Stan Lee, Frank Miller, Jack Kirby, Robert Crumb and Harvey Pekar, etc. director Ron Mann intersperses his interviews with the creators with original panels of their respected work, with the artist or writer supplying the narration.

Chronicling comic book history from 1930s to mid-1980s, including both the super-hero and underground movement, Comic Book Confidential is a cohesive and evenhanded examination of sequential art and its cultural relevance. For example, without comic books Hollywood would have nothing to adapt and Silly Putty would be completely useless.

He's a Word Ballon Animal. He's the...

Vidiot