Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Sweetheart Surgeon. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of February 1, 2019

Remember to always practise safe sexism. First up…

Suspiria

The best thing about going to a school run by witches is that clothing is optional.

That said the crones in this horror movie prefer to keep their coven undercover.

Despite no formal training, American Susie (Dakota Johnson) is not only accepted in to a prestige German Dance Academy, but she’s also chosen as the lead in their upcoming production. Meanwhile, some students within the school have started accusing the Three Mothers and their instructor (Tilda Swinton) of being in league with Satan.

With elaborate dance routines, Swinton in multiple roles and a soundtrack supplied by Radiohead’s Thom Yorke, this remake of Dario Argento’s 1977 masterwork certainly shoots for the fences. Unfortunately, the muted tones, the lack of scares and lengthy run-time derail any hopes this update has of besting - or even matching - the original.

However, witchcraft does explain why there are so many dance shows on television.  Red Light 

 

Widows

Without their husband around wives would be forced to nag strange men on the street.

Or, they could do like the women in this thriller and commandeer their partner’s business.

When their husbands (Liam Neeson, Jon Bernthal, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo) are murdered amid a million dollar heist and the man they stole from comes looking for repayment, three widows (Viola Davis, Michelle Rodriguez, Elizabeth Debicki) have no choice but to settle the score by pulling off their own robbery. Meanwhile their mark (Robert Duvall) and his son (Colin Farrell) vie for control over Chicago.  

An engaging caper that flips the typical masculine narrative on its ear and outfits it with a social and political edge, this adaptation of the British television series is updated with enough twists and strong performances to warrant its big screen retelling.      

Moreover, with all of their panty hose it just makes sense for women to steal.  Yellow Light

 

Roma

The upside to being a servant in America is you never understand what your boss is yelling at you.

Unfortunately for the maid in this drama, her employer speaks perfect Spanish.

Introvert Cleo (Yalitza Aparicio) works for Mrs. Sofia (Marina de Tavira) maintaining her family home in the heart of Mexico City’s richest neighbourhood as well as helping her raise her four children while their father is away on business. The family dynamic begins to shift, however, when Sofia’s husband’s absences begin to grow longer and a deadbeat rebel fighter impregnates Cleo.

Slow yet startling, subtle yet spirited, writer/director Alfonso Cuarón lovingly retells the tales of his affluent childhood through the eyes of his family’s improvised maid in this black-and-white Netflix import that is beautifully shot against the social unrest of 1970s.

Best of all, when you clean up after rich kids you know exactly where they hide their allowance.  Green Light

***Woman’s Glib***

Seance on a Wet Afternoon

Women are better mediums because they remember to relay the messages from the dead.

However, the clairvoyant in this drama is delivering all of the wrong memos from beyond.

Mystic Myra Savage (Kim Stanley) convinces her doting husband Billy (Richard Attenborough) to kidnap the daughter of an affluent couple so that she may demonstrate to the police and to the public her true psychic prowess - and hopefully drum up some business for her home séances. But Myra’s obsession with her own missing child begins to cloud her actions. As a result she escalates the prospective kidnapping charge to a murder wrap.  

While it is free from any supernatural entanglements, this brilliantly acted British adaptation of the 1960s novel is no less atmospheric and haunting thanks to its deep exploration of personal loss and its affects on one’s mental state.

Incidentally, be wary of séances that have commercials in them.

He Speaks to the Dead Tired. He’s the…

Vidiot