Thursday, January 17, 2019

Be Kind, Please Rewind


He has a Banana Split Personality. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of January 18, 2019

The cheap holiday candy is sold right before the next holiday candy arrives. First up…



Halloween

The scariest Jack-o’-lanterns can be found on front porches 2-weeks after Halloween.

Thankfully the gourds in this horror movie are fungus free and prime for carving up.

When Michael Myers escapes from custody on the anniversary of his 1978 killing spree, the only survivor of those attacks Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) readies her daughter (Judy Greer) and granddaughter (Andi Matichak) for the forthcoming confrontation. And this time around, instead of a scared babysitter, the knife wielding Michael is going to find a scorned woman with a score to settle.

Set after the events in John Carpenter’s original, this stylish sequel co-written by Danny McBride pays homage to the prototype in a plethora of ingenious ways. However, this mildly gory tribute comes with a serious dosage of oddball comedy that often undermines the massacres.

Moreover, if Michael Myers loves stabbing people in costumes so much he should attend a cosplay convention.  Yellow Light

 

Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween       

Nowadays the only thing kids read are online comments about how they should go kill themselves.

Fortunately, the friends in this horror movie have found something less dangerous to read. 

When Sonny and Sam are hired to clean out a dilapidated dwelling they discover an unpublished book by R. L. Stine (Jack Black), the author of the Goosebumps series. But by opening the book the boys unleash a ventriloquist’s dummy that uses the book’s power to bring other fictional creations to life. With help from their neighbor (Ken Jeong) and babysitter (Madison Iseman), they must get the beasts back in the book.

Lacking all of the nostalgia of the initial installment, this mostly Jack Black free sequel suffers from a serious similarity to its predecessor’s story. Save for a handful of scares, this generic follow-up is disappointing.

Besides, it would’ve been smarter to just self-publish the manuscript under your own name.  Red Light


Johnny English Strikes Again

The best thing about being a spy is that you don’t have to save anything for retirement.

Sadly, the agent in this comedy was not tortured to death before leaving the agency.
When his former employer MI7 is hacked by a cyber-terrorist and the names of every active field agent is revealed, geography teacher Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson) is reinstated and tasked with tracking down those behind the hack. But as English attempts to outwit his Russian counterpart (Olga Kurylenko), the real perpetrator makes a deal with the British Prime Minister (Emma Thompson) for access to sensitive government material.

Stained by sight gags and pratfalls that have been seen in previous instalments of the British franchise, this pointless sequel sinks even lower with a hackneyed cyber-hacking storyline that’s pretty much standard across the espionage genre.

Moreover, when retired spies come back to work they bring their woodworking projects with them.  Red Light

***Sans Myers***


Halloween III: Season of the Witch

The best way to eradicate a serial killer, like Michael Myers, is with serial executions.   

Mind you, this horror movie sequel does the next best thing and just excludes him.

When a patient sets himself on fire over a Halloween mask, Dr. Challis (Tom Atkins) and the dead man’s daughter (Stacey Nelkin) head to the manufacture to get some answers. But after meeting the owner (Dan O'Herlihy) and learning of his nefarious plans to sacrifice trick-or-treaters to reinstate Celtic black magic, Challis must now stop a TV giveaway that will trigger the genocide.

Straying far from the continuity established by John Carpenter’s Halloween and its follow-up, this third instalment trades in the knife wielding manic for androids, Irish folklore and subliminal messages. Widely unpopular in 1982, this standalone has matured into a suspenseful supernatural cult film.

Besides, without children around Halloween would just turn into some kind of costumed orgy.

He’s a DiffiCult Leader. He’s the…

Vidiot















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