He has a Banana Split Personality. He’s
the…
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Week of January 18, 2019
The cheap holiday candy is sold right
before the next holiday candy arrives. First up…
Halloween
The scariest Jack-o’-lanterns can be found
on front porches 2-weeks after Halloween.
Thankfully the gourds in this horror movie
are fungus free and prime for carving up.
When Michael Myers escapes from custody on
the anniversary of his 1978 killing spree, the only survivor of those attacks
Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) readies her daughter (Judy Greer) and granddaughter
(Andi Matichak) for the forthcoming confrontation. And this time around,
instead of a scared babysitter, the knife wielding Michael is going to find a
scorned woman with a score to settle.
Set after the events in John Carpenter’s
original, this stylish sequel co-written by Danny McBride pays homage to the
prototype in a plethora of ingenious ways. However, this mildly gory tribute
comes with a serious dosage of oddball comedy that often undermines the
massacres.
Moreover, if Michael Myers loves stabbing
people in costumes so much he should attend a cosplay convention. Yellow Light
Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween
Nowadays the only thing kids read are
online comments about how they should go kill themselves.
Fortunately, the friends in this horror
movie have found something less dangerous to read.
When Sonny and Sam are hired to clean out a
dilapidated dwelling they discover an unpublished book by R. L. Stine (Jack
Black), the author of the Goosebumps series. But by opening the book the boys
unleash a ventriloquist’s dummy that uses the book’s power to bring other
fictional creations to life. With help from their neighbor (Ken Jeong) and
babysitter (Madison Iseman), they must get the beasts back in the book.
Lacking all of the nostalgia of the initial
installment, this mostly Jack Black free sequel suffers from a serious
similarity to its predecessor’s story. Save for a handful of scares, this
generic follow-up is disappointing.
Besides, it would’ve been smarter to just
self-publish the manuscript under your own name. Red Light
Johnny English Strikes Again
The best thing about being a spy is that
you don’t have to save anything for retirement.
Sadly, the agent in this comedy was not
tortured to death before leaving the agency.
When his former employer MI7 is hacked by a
cyber-terrorist and the names of every active field agent is revealed,
geography teacher Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson) is reinstated and tasked with
tracking down those behind the hack. But as English attempts to outwit his
Russian counterpart (Olga Kurylenko), the real perpetrator makes a deal with
the British Prime Minister (Emma Thompson) for access to sensitive government
material.
Stained by sight gags and pratfalls that
have been seen in previous instalments of the British franchise, this
pointless sequel sinks even lower with a hackneyed cyber-hacking storyline
that’s pretty much standard across the espionage genre.
Moreover, when retired spies come back to
work they bring their woodworking projects with them. Red Light
***Sans Myers***
Halloween III: Season of the Witch
The best way to eradicate a serial killer,
like Michael Myers, is with serial executions.
Mind you, this horror movie sequel does the
next best thing and just excludes him.
When a patient sets himself on fire over a
Halloween mask, Dr. Challis (Tom Atkins) and the dead man’s daughter (Stacey
Nelkin) head to the manufacture to get some answers. But after meeting the
owner (Dan O'Herlihy) and learning of his nefarious plans to sacrifice
trick-or-treaters to reinstate Celtic black magic, Challis must now stop a TV
giveaway that will trigger the genocide.
Straying far from the continuity established
by John Carpenter’s Halloween and its follow-up, this third instalment trades
in the knife wielding manic for androids, Irish folklore and subliminal
messages. Widely unpopular in 1982, this standalone has matured into a
suspenseful supernatural cult film.
Besides, without children around Halloween
would just turn into some kind of costumed orgy.
He’s a DiffiCult Leader. He’s the…
Vidiot
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