He’s a Mild Animal. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of March 31, 2017
Dogs never beg for what you’re drinking.
First up…
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
The main difference between British and
American wizards is the latter has a show in Las Vegas.
Historically, however, that wasn’t always
the case, as detailed in this fantasy.
A magical zoologist from England, Newt
(Eddie Redmayne), arrives in NYC with an enchanted suitcase teeming with a
mysterious menagerie.
When his bag is mistakenly switched with a
baker’s (Dan Fogler) some of the creatures escape. Now Newt, and his US
counterpart (Katherine Waterston), must recapture them before they run amok.
Meanwhile, a prominent wizard (Colin
Farrell) plots to out wizardry to the public.
An adaptation of J. K. Rowling’s book that
was scripted by the author herself, Beasts is brimming with her whimsy and
ingenuity, yet detached from her other wizard franchise enough to make this
rollicking adventure more accessible and enjoyable.
As for the beasts that they don’t locate,
they end up being served on New York hot dog carts. Green Light
Patriots Day
If you’re going to detonate a bomb at a
marathon, do it before everyone runs the 26 miles.
Inconsiderately, the assailants in this
thriller discharged their explosives at the end.
The finish line to the 2013 Boston Marathon
turns into a bloodbath when two brothers with radical Islamic beliefs set-off a
series of homemade bombs that kill 3 and injured hundreds.
While the local FBI agent (Kevin Bacon) is
spearheading the manhunt, it is Boston’s own police force (Mark Wahlberg, John
Goodman, J. K. Simmons) that ends up risking their lives in an epic shootout
with the heavily armed suspects.
Reducing this real life tragedy to action-thriller
fodder, this overly patriotic, Xenophobic, action-packed re-telling of those
harrowing April events has less to do with honouring the victims and more to do
with entertaining audiences.
Incidentally, you don’t need bombs to deter
people from marathons – running is enough in its self. Yellow Light
Why Him?
A father’s best defence against his
son-in-law’s sex stories about his daughter is dirty diaper stories about her.
The duo in this comedy, however, is sharing
more than female fluid anecdotes.
Surprised to discover that his princess,
Stephanie (Zoey Deutch), is dating Laird (James Franco), Ned (Bryan Cranston)
drives his family (Megan Mullally, Griffin Gluck) down to California for a
visit.
Ned’s surprise turns to shock when he
learns that Laird is worth millions, and that Stephanie is dropping out of
school to work for him.
Vacillating between love and hate for his
daughter’s free spirited suitor, Ned ultimately decides to sabotage their relationship
by exposing Laird as a fraud.
A crude copy of a million other awkward
son-in-law storylines, this most recent incarnation of the well-worn narrative
is not inventive or humorous enough to standout from the herd.
Furthermore, to keep your daughter doubly
safe: marry your son-in-law’s mom. Red
Light
***Hay Buuuudy***
Son in Law
The best part about being a son-in-law is
having a father you don’t have to call on Father’s Day.
Mind you, the suitor in this comedy would
do anything to impress his future in-laws.
During Thanksgiving, college coed Becca
(Carla Gugino) returns to her rural South Dakota homestead with her garish
boyfriend Crawl (Pauly Shore) in tow.
While her family is caught off-guard by her
new beau, Crawl is even more surprised when he must pretend to be engaged to
Becca so her ex-boyfriend doesn’t propose.
Furthermore, the accident-prone Californian
has to navigate through the pitfalls of farm life.
Shore’s follow-up to Encino Man, this
fish-out-of-water situation brings Shore’s divisive persona to the forefront
with mixed results. As annoying as ever, the spattering of laughs isn’t enough
to win over the comedian’s loyal detractors.
Besides, no fiancé you bring back to the
farm will be satisfactory unless it’s your brother.
He’s
an Ant Farmhand. He’s the…
Vidiot
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