He's a Tectonic Plate-Spinner. He's the...
Vidiot
Week of May 30, 2014
Lava looks delicious. First up...
Pompeii
The best part about living next to a volcano is that it
doubles as a garbage incinerator.
Unfortunately, it looks as though the civilization in this
disaster movie have overextended theirs.
Brought to the great city as a slave turned gladiator, Milo
(Kit Harington) makes a name for himself when he comes to the assistance of
Cassia (Emily Browning), the daughter of Pompeii’s ruler (Jared Harris).
In the arena Milo must face Atticus (Adewale
Akinnuoye-Agbaje), a warrior with only one more fight to win his freedom.
Observing the match is the Roman Senator (Kiefer Sutherland)
who murdered Milo’s mother years earlier.
When Mount Vesuvius erupts, Milo gets his chance at revenge
and love.
Disrespecting the many lives lost in AD 79, this Paul W. S.
Anderson effects laden epic earns points for the devastation but not for the
simplistic delivery.
And to think, it could’ve all have been avoided with more
virgin sacrifices. Red Light
About Last Night
The best part of a one-night stand is you don’t have to
leave money on the dresser.
But if you stick around like the guys in this rom-com, you
do end up paying.
Bernie (Kevin Hart) tells Danny (Michael Ealy) his
experience with a girl he met at the club last night.
Joan (Regina Hall) dishes to Debbie (Joy Bryant) about her
experience with this guy she met at the club last night.
When all four meet up for drinks, Debbie and Danny hit it off
and sleep together.
That one-night stand turns into co-habitation. But when the
constraints of relationship begin to tighten around Danny, he flinches.
An updated version of the 1986 original, this remake is
remarkably funny. Furthermore, in it’s own distorted way it’s an honest
portrayal of dating.
Plus, when you meet someone at a club, you know instantly
that you both like paying for overpriced drinks. Green Light
***A Lava Not a Fighter***
Volcano
The reason there are no volcanoes in LA is because there’re
instantly laced, cauterized and concealed with silicon.
On occasion, however, like in this disaster movie, one
festers under the surface.
Emergency Management head Mike Roark (Tommy Lee Jones) and
his colleague Emmit (Don Cheadle) shrug off an L.A. area earthquake when no
major damage appears to be present.
Overtime, however, hot gasses begin emitting from fissures
in the ground, killing city workers.
A geologist (Anne Heche) declares a volcano to be forming
underneath the city streets, but Roark refuses to believe her.
That mistake costs him Wilshire Boulevard. And if he keeps
it up, it’ll cost him his daughter (Gaby Hoffmann).
The more unrealistic of the two volcano movies released in
1997, this special effects heavy one basks in the insanity of its ludicrous
plot and blatant disregard for human lives.
Fortunately, lava only flows after bad people.
He's an All-Natural Disaster. He's the...
Vidiot
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