He’s a Cyborg Bully. He’s the…
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Week of June 6, 2014
Robot cops can’t touch you in the rain. First up…
RoboCop
The worst part of a robot cop is where you have to blow into
their Breathalyzer.
Thankfully, the automated officer’s design in this sci-fi
film isn’t so perverted.
In the future, the US military fights its wars by means of
mechanized soldiers.
Though successful on foreign soil, Americans aren’t so keen
on that soulless style of policing at home.
To fix that, head manufacturer Raymond Sellars (Michael
Keaton) directs his scientist (Gary Oldman) to craft a human/robot hybrid cop
from the remains of a recently fallen officer, Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman).
But Murphy’s compulsion to catch his killers overrides his
programming, putting his family (Abbie Cornish, John Paul Ruttan) and the
project in jeopardy.
One of the few revisions worthy of its inspiration, this
sleek remake removes the original’s tongue from its cheek, but not its gritty
violence or social commentary.
Incidentally, robotic police officers will devastate the
donut industry. Green Light
Lone Survivor
The key to surviving in the wilderness is to avoid going
into the wilderness in the first place.
Unfortunately, for the Navy SEALs in this action movie, it’s
part of their job.
When a Taliban leader is located in a remote region of
Afghanistan, snipers Marcus Luttrell (Mark Wahlberg) and Matthew Axelson (Ben
Foster), along with spotters Danny Dietz (Emile Hirsch) and Michael P. Murphy
(Taylor Kitsch), are dispatched to a nearby mountain range.
Waiting for a shot, the team encounters goat herders. Torn
between killing them and freeing them, Luttrell eventually let’s them go.
Moments later, they’re attacked by their
targets. Outnumbered and outgunned, the team makes their last stand.
Based on the best-selling biography, this intensely violent
and emotionally draining adaptation is a shocking example of military
ineptitude and the senseless valor it produces.
Besides, when pinned down by Islamic fundamentalists, it’s
time to start praying to Allah. Green Light
***Artificial Foot Soldiers***
Universal Soldier
The only way to defeat an army of robots is to download a
PTSD virus onto their system.
Thankfully, the armed forces in this sci-fi film are only
reanimated corpses.
After shooting each other in Vietnam, Private Deveraux
(Jean-Claude Van Damme) and Sergeant Scott (Dolph Lundgren) are resuscitated in
the 1990s under a secret military operation.
Tasked with wiping out terrorists, the pair does its job
flawlessly.
But when Scott’s bloodlust returns, it jogs Deveraux’s
memories of what happened in ‘Nam and of the family he left behind.
With Scott unhinged, Deveraux is compelled to help a
reporter (Ally Walker) expose the army’s inhuman experimentation, even if it
means taking down his teammates.
Perfectly cast as emotionless robots, the mumble-mouth leads
make the most of the formulaic material by relying more on stern looks and leg
splits to convey their feelings.
Furthermore, recycling dead soldiers saves a fortune on
death notifications.
He’s a Hand-Drill Sergeant. He’s the…
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