He’s a Yellow Snowman. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of December 2, 2011
Snowmen are a wealth of edible carrots. First up…
The Smurfs
The upside to old cartoons being adapted into Hollywood movies is that adults who watched them in the '80s can sleep through them in the 2000s.
However, dozing around the blue-hued imps in this family movie could result in eggs being laid in your belly.
A miniature race of azure anomalies is endangered when a sorcerer, Gargamel (Hank Azaria), discovers their village.
During the invasion, their leader Papa Smurf (Jonathan Winters) and others (Kathy Perry, Anton Yelchin, Fred Armisen, Alan Cumming, George Lopez) are transported to modern-day New York.
Now, along with their new human friends (Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays), they must stop Gargamel from gaining untold powers.
Based on the Saturday morning cartoon, The Smurfs stay true to their character designs. But fall short when it comes to an engaging adventure.
Besides, the only thing that should be re-visiting Americans from the 1980s right now should be Reaganomics. 0
Friends with Benefits
The best thing about engaging in a solely sexual relationship with a friend is that you can tell them when the sex sucks.
Fortunately, the boot-knocking between the buddies in this rom-com is the least of their worries.
Headhunted by GQ magazine, art director Dylan (Justin Timberlake) moves to New York with a little coaxing from the recruiter Jamie (Mila Kunis).
Ultimately accepting the position, Dylan and Jamie begin hanging out.
One night after eviscerating the structure of romantic comedies, the pair decides to venture into a physical relationship void of emotional attachments.
Inevitably their experiment fails, and Jamie returns to the dating scene. But a chance weekend away finds the two connecting on a new emotional level.
Attempting to be a smart-alecky dissertation of courting, Friends with Benefits hypocritically treads the same predictable path it expostulates.
Besides, cuddling after sex is way more gratifying than giving each other noogies. 0
30 Minutes or Less
The reason pizza places offer 30 minutes or less delivery service is because after 31 minutes the cheese turns back into plastic.
Fortunately, the delivery guy in this comedy is too fast for congealing.
When two deadbeats, Dwayne (Danny McBride) and Travis (Nick Swardson), decide to kill Dwayne’s rich father, they must first raise enough capital for a hit man.
Eventually, they settle on kidnapping a pizza delivery driver, Nick (Jesse Eisenberg), strapping a bomb to his chest, and forcing him to rob a bank for them.
With only 10-hours until detonation, Nick enlists his friend (Aziz Ansari) to assist in the robbery, with disastrous results.
While the plot is straightforward, 30 Minutes or Less has enough twists and mediocre comedic performances to warrant a 7% gratuity.
Nonetheless, how is a pizza delivery driver supposed to rob a bank when they are only allowed to carry less than $20 cash? 0
Our Idiot Brother
A male growing up with only sisters is exposed to a lot of things that sister-less males aren’t, such as, hand-me-downs that make your ass look fat.
And it is that feminine conditioning that has turned the brother in this comedy into a free-spirited hippy.
Following his arrest for selling drugs to a uniformed officer, Ned (Paul Rudd) returns to his organic farm to find that his girlfriend has shacked up with someone new.
Needing money in order to rent out his former farmhouse, Ned visits his sisters (Elizabeth Banks, Emily Mortimer, Zooey Deschanel) in hopes of raising enough capital.
But when he interferes with their relationships, Ned’s hapless nature lands him in hot water with all three sisters.
An extremely light-comedy with no purpose, Our Idiot Brother is as harmless as it is forgettable.
Besides, having an idiot in the family reminds relations what could happen if they marry. 0
***It's a She-Man X-Mas***
He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special
Hanging out with 1980s cartoon characters is really awkward since they're always trying to sell you their old action figures or one-hour holiday specials.
Therefore, it’s no wonder that the children in this animated movie are ill at ease spending their first Christmas with He-Man.
When the wizard Orko magically transports a spy-ship from Eternia to Earth, he meets two small humans who got lost while looking for a Christmas tree.
When Orko later returns to Eternia, he brings them and their Christmas spirit along, which intrigues Orko’s friends: He-Man and She-Ra.
However, Horde Prime fears good cheer, so he orders his underlings Hordak and Skeletor to kidnap the earthlings.
With both He-Man and She-Ra’s supporting cast present, as well as a lighthearted Skeletor, A Christmas Special is a holiday feast for fans of all ages.
Unfortunately, on Eternia, the only meat served during Christmas dinner is My Little Pony.
He's Da Tannenbaum. He's the...
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