The Vidiot's
Rear in Review
The Top...
Action
Thor
For many parts of the population, a blond-haired, hammer-wielding, Aryan hero is more akin to a villain.
Fortunately, Leni Riefenstahl didn’t direct this action movie based on the Norse God of Thunder.
After Frost Giants break into Asgard to reclaim a stolen relic, Thor (Chris Hemworth), son of Odin (Anthony Hopkins), and his warrior friends (Tadanobu Asano, Jaimie Alexander, Joshua Dallas, Ray Stevenson) retaliate.
Unfortunately, their actions break a long-standing truce. In turn, Thor’s stripped of his mighty hammer and banished to Earth.
Exiled, he develops feelings for an astrophysicist (Natalie Portman).
Meanwhile, Thor’s brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) ascends to the throne.
Based on the Marvel Comics character, Thor brilliantly bridges the gap between hubris and humanity with universal themes of brotherly betrayal in order to be applicable.
Besides, with that hammer, Thor should just do what all longhaired, earthbound, sons of a god do here, and take up carpentry.
Comedy
Horrible Bosses
Being the boss means never having to minimize non-work related websites on your computer when someone approaches your desk.
That abuse of authority, along with other complaints, is the reason why the friends in this comedy have decided to kill their bosses.
When three friends, Nick (Jason Bateman), Kurt (Jason Sudeikis) and Dale (Charlie Day), decide to move ahead with their plot to murder their bosses (Kevin Spacey, Colin Farrell, Jennifer Aniston), they seek the advice of a known felon (Jamie Foxx).
Ultimately opting to knock-off each other’s boss, the implementation of their plan is pre-empted when Nick’s boss kills Kurt’s boss and all three become suspects.
With riotous performances across the board, Horrible Bosses is teeming with the kind of laughs that form the basis of a comedy classic.
And while we’d all like to kill our bosses, the self-employed sector would suffer the most dramatic drop in productivity.
Romance
Crazy, Stupid, Love
The key to having a marriage built on trust, respect and love is to tie the knot on your deathbed.
Unfortunately, the couple in this dramedy decided to get married right out of high school.
Subsequent to an affair with her colleague (Kevin Bacon), Emily (Julianne Moore) decides to end her marriage to her high school sweetheart Cal (Steve Carell).
Forced from his home, Cal returns to the dating scene where he meets a hip, young, playboy, Jacob (Ryan Gosling), who shows him the ropes.
But when Hannah (Emma Stone), a feisty fawn he failed to conquer, re-enters his life, Jacob begins contemplating settling down.
All the while Carl and Emily’s children learn their own lessons about love.
A sharp, funny, timely romantic-comedy, Crazy, Stupid, Love cunningly weaves an unexpected and unconventional love story.
Despite the film's optimistic message, however, crazy, stupid, people should still not be allowed to procreate.
Horror
Insidious
The reason homeowners prefer that the “bump in the night” be a desperate drug addict, opposed to a ghost, is because junkies have organs that can be sold to pay mortgages.
And while the family in this horror movie isn’t trading on the black market, they’d give anything for a tangible home-invader.
Plagued by spirits since moving into their new home, Renai (Rose Byrne) and Josh (Patrick Wilson) live in fear.
One day, their son (Ty Simpkins) falls into a coma. On the advice of Josh’s mother (Barbara Hershey) they call in an expert (Lin Shaye), who tells them their son’s astral body is being held captive by a demon wishing to possess his physical body.
Drenched in eldritch ambiance and imbued with nightmarish imagery, this macabre tale is a triumph of terror.
Fortunately, if things do go awry, there is a cure for demonically possessed children – it’s called Ritalin.
Thriller
Limitless
Until now, the only magic pill that a writer could take to gain fame and fortune was a sleeping pill...and plenty of 'em.
Fortunately, the scribe in this thriller has discovered medication that can augment his intelligence without decreasing his existence.
Already suffering writer’s block, Eddie’s (Bradley Cooper) despair doubles when his girlfriend (Abbie Cornish) dumps him.
His luck turns, however, when his ex-brother-in-law introduces him to an experimental drug that can boost brain function.
Blessed with brilliance, but addled by addiction, Eddie finds himself in bed with a Russian gangster and a Wall Street wizard (Robert DeNiro).
With his stash depleting, and withdrawal not an option, Eddie must use his remaining high to mastermind a plan.
With a capable cast, sweeping cinematography and stimulating script, Limitless is a slick, cerebral supposition.
However, if humans really could use 100% of their brains than reality TV ratings would be in trouble.
Animation
Rango
The best thing about a chameleon sheriff is that: no matter the skin colour of the criminal, they can never be accused of racial profiling.
Unfortunately, the colour-changing lawman in this animated-adventure must oversee a town filled with different species.
While traveling through the desert, pampered pet chameleon Rango (Johnny Depp) must learn to survive in the arid climate after falling from his owner’s vehicle.
Eventually, Rango makes his way to an Old West settlement, where he inadvertently disposes of a local bandit (Ray Winstone).
Impressed, the mayor (Ned Beatty) appoints the hapless hero to the position of sheriff. His first duty, however, is to solve the mystery behind the town’s missing water supply.
A phantasmagoria of slapstick comedy and Spaghetti Western inspiration, Rango is a visual treat that will engage and impress young and old.
Furthermore, with a tongue that long, he's also really popular amongst the local brothels.
Sci-Fi
Attack the Block
Honestly, most mayors wouldn’t have an issue with bloodthirsty aliens invading their ghettos and dining on their denizens.
However, the less fortunate lunch menu items in this sci-fi movie would have a serious issue with it.
Amid robbing a nurse (Jodie Whittaker) at knifepoint, a gang of teenagers is sidetracked when an object from space crash-lands nearby.
To prove his pluck, the gang-leader, Moses (John Boyega), confronts and kills the creature, claiming it for fame and fortune.
But when a furrier, more ferocious form of the alien comes looking for retribution, the posse must partner with the nurse to defeat the fluorescent fanged fiends.
Featuring one of the best creature designs ever, a brilliant young cast, a tight script and a soundtrack by Basement Jaxx, Attack the Block is a complete blast.
Furthermore, if the aliens really didn’t want any opposition to their occupation, then they should’ve invaded the suburbs.
Drama
The Devil's Double
Political figures that are looking for an impersonator, should use an SNL cast member - not only are they spot-on, but no one will mind if they’re assassinated.
Unfortunately, for the dead-ringer in this drama, the dictator he resembles is looking locally for his double.
When an Iraqi citizen, Latif (Dominic Cooper), with a striking similitude to Uday (Dominic Cooper), the eldest son of Saddam Hussein (Philip Quast), is asked to service as Uday’s political decoy, he refuses.
Latif quickly learns, however, that you don’t say no to the sadistic son of a dictator.
Forced to emulate and pal around with the unhinged heir, Latif’s restraint is pushed to its limits as he watches Uday murder and rape whomever he pleases.
With two superb performances from Dominic Cooper, The Devil’s Double is an explicit, stylistic, overblown masterpiece.
Thankfully, for American politicians, their country is full of crazy, old, white look-a-likes.
He's a Mayan Advent Calender. He's the...
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