He’s an Under the Influencer. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of March 1, 2019
The Internet is Utopia if it was filled with opinionated
assholes. First up…
Ralph Breaks the Internet
One surefire way of crippling the web is to give your
parents your WiFi password.
Instead, the brute in this animated movie decides to
immobilize it himself.
When the steering wheel on his friend Vanellope’s (Sarah
Silverman) arcade game breaks, rehabilitated rogue Ralph (John C. Reilly)
travels to the Internet to find a replacement. Out of their element at first,
both soon learn how to navigate the net with Ralph memeing himself to make
money for the part and Vanellope engaging in online gaming. But when it comes
time to leave, one of them wants to remain online.
While this obligatory sequel to the nostalgic original
confronts concepts of change through pointed Internet humour and strong vocal
performances, the non-stop website ads feel less about funny and more about
subliminal marketing to kids.
Furthermore, someone should tell Ralph that hanging out with
underage Vanellope online isn’t a smart move.
Yellow Light
The Favourite
The best thing about being friends with the queen is using
your selfies to counterfeit money.
Unfortunately, to make their fortune the royal besties in
this dramedy must swing.
Disgraced Baroness Abigail Masham (Emma Stone) arrives at
the court of Queen Anne (Olivia Colman) in hopes of finding work. With help
from her cousin Sarah Churchill (Rachel
Weisz), the queen’s current consort, Abigail becomes a servant. But after
discovering a secret about her kin and the Queen, Abigail attempts to reclaim
her station by dethroning Sara as Anne’s favorite.
While it presents a quirky take on the unsubstantiated
relationship between the three parties during Britain’s 1703 conflict with
France, this stylish and well-acted biography vacillates too much between upper
crust laughs, lurid encounters and political intrigue; never lingering long
enough at either to feel authentic.
Moreover, if the Queen’s using chambermaids to please herself
what’s the point of the Beefeaters?
Yellow Light
***Upper Crust Pizza***
King Ralph
If the royals are ever assassinated it’s safe to assume
Meghan Markle’s father did it.
And while the governing body in this comedy has ended, a
more jovial fat man is taking over.
When Britain’s royal family is electrocuted during a soggy
photo shoot, Sir Willingham (Peter O'Toole) taps larger than life Las Vegas
lounge act Ralph (John Goodman) to bear the crown. While the country eventually
warms to their new ruler’s blue-collar ways, Lord Percival (John Hurt) schemes
to oust him by exposing Ralph’s secret affair with a stripper (Camille Coduri).
An improbable idea with high comedic potential backed by two
British acting legends and a rudimentary plot prime for riffing is ruined by
miscasting the lead. In the right hands, King Ralph could have been more cult
film than forgettable lark.
Besides, it’s hard to believe that Prince Charles wouldn’t
rise from the grave to claim the throne.
He's Crown Sourcing. He’s the….
Vidiot
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