Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s the Reopening Act. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of February 22, 2019

If all the world's a stage Ticketmaster is God. First up…

A Star is Born

The best things about sleeping with a famous singer are the costume changes and pyrotechnics.

However, the vocalists in this drama are both gifted so sex gets pretty smoky.

After a concert one night, rock-star Jackson Maine (Bradley Cooper) inadvertently catches a performance by emerging artist Ally (Lady Gaga), and is so impressed by her vocal range that he offers to help refine her singing and song-writing talents. But as Ally’s star begins to rise and she garners accolades and awards, her mentor – now husband - descends into drink and a deep depression.

Although this is the fourth remake of the 1937 original, first-time director Bradley Cooper and his leading lady Gaga both make stunning debuts, which helps the dated material feel relevant. While it’s darker than previous versions, this adaptation has the added bonus of original songs.

Incidentally, marriage is a lot easier for rock-stars because they have roadies.  Green Light

 

Robin Hood

Nowadays anyone who steals from the rich to give to the poor takes a 20% handling fee.

However, English outlaws, like the one in this action movie, simply enjoyed the notoriety.

Conscripted into the Crusades by the Sheriff of Nottingham (Ben Mendelsohn), Lord Robin of Loxley (Taron Egerton) returns home to find his ladylove married to another (Jamie Dornan) and that his vast fortune was confiscated for the war-effort. Now under the tutelage of an Arabian warrior (Jamie Foxx), Robin hopes to learn the longbow proficiently enough to topple the sheriff’s regime.

While this origin story focuses on a younger bandit than has been featured in the plethora of Robin Hood productions before it, this youth oriented adaptation is packed with historically inaccurate action scenes, lazy quips and a laughable performance from Foxx.

Besides, smart outlaws steal from the rich and loan to the poor at a high interest rate.  Red Light

***Upstage Right***

All About Eve

The only way to ensure a younger actor won’t replace you is to blackmail the producer.

Unfortunately, the starlet in this drama didn’t bother to dig up any dirt own her bosses.

Broadway leading lady Margo (Bette Davis) is at the top of her game until she meets young super-fan Eve (Anne Baxter). While Eve initially makes an excellent assistant to the aging actress, overtime her thirst for the limelight lands her the role of Margo’s understudy. When Margo fails to appear one night, Eve takes the stage and astounds the audience in her stead. Now Eve is in demand while Margo isn’t.

Based on the short story, writer-director Joseph Mankiewicz brings every celebrity’s fear to vivid life. Superbly acted and Oscar nominated thusly, this tawdry tale of being supplanted by a young version still holds true today.

Luckily, meteoric young actors can easily be introduced to career ending addictions.

He's Unwashed Up. He's the...

Vidiot