He’s a Seniority Citizen. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of May 18, 2012
Baby-boomers will doom us all. First up…
The Grey
Oh great, another PSA about the impending apocalypse resulting from aging baby-boomers’ strain on healthcare.
Oh wait this thriller doesn’t involve conscripting geriatric nurses; but it does have an old man in it.
When their plane crashes in the wilderness, a group of Alaskan oil riggers (Dermot Mulroney, James Badge Dale, Frank Grillo, Joe Anderson, Nonso Anozie, Dallas Roberts) must depend on John (Liam Neeson), a hunter hired to protect their work camp from wolves, to keep them alive.
Leading them to shelter and tending to the injured, John establishes himself as their leader. But those in his group not only begin questioning John’s alpha dog status, but so too does a horde of hungry wolves.
A macho, emotional man vs. nature nail-biter, The Grey is as much a study of manhood as it is a two-fisted tale of survival.
Incidentally, it’s only natural that wolves would attack rig pigs. 0
One for the Money
The best thing about being apprehended by a female bail bondsperson is that your neighbors will finally see a woman coming over to your house.
Unfortunately, for the wanted man in this rom-com his bounty huntress is a former conquest.
Unemployed and unsatisfied, Stephanie (Katherine Heigl) asks her cousin Vinnie (Patrick Fischler) for a job at his bail bonds company.
Against his better judgement, Vinnie hires the inexperienced Stephanie to be a skip tracer.
He soon regrets it when she pesters him to be allowed to pursue Joe Morelli (Jason O'Mara), an ex-cop wanted for murder, and her old high school flame.
Instead of cuffing her mark, however, Stephanie opts to help him solve the crime he is accused of.
Based on the popular book, One for the Money is a hapless concoction of rom-com clichés and slothful sleuthing.
Besides, women are only into bounty hunting for the fashionable dusters. 0
The Devil Inside
The best thing to do if you have an evil spirit inhabiting your body is to get a priest to bless your morning douche.
Unfortunately, the female sufferer in this horror movie chose to go with dispossession instead.
Twenty years after her mother murdered three people during a religious ritual to remove a residing demon from her body, her daughter, Isabella (Fernanda Andrade) travels to Rome, where her mother is imprisoned, to interview her for an exorcism documentary.
In Italy, she and her cameraman connect with two priests who take them to witness a real exorcism.
During the ceremony, the possessed patient mounts a verbal assault against Isabella that suggests a personal connection to her, and her imbalanced mother.
A ham-fisted, handheld horror, The Devil Inside treads familiar demonic territory with abysmal and amateurish results.
Furthermore, to rid Rome of its incessant demon possession you must first exorcise the Vatican. 0
Chronicle
The most unrealistic thing about super heroism is that a human with extraordinary powers would don a disguise and avoid publicity.
Fortunately, the superpowered friends in this sci-fi movie are keeping a video diary of their impossible exploits.
When Andrew (Dane DeHaan), a loser who’s taken enough abuse in school and in the home, begins documenting his meager existence, it sudden becomes not so meager.
When he and his cousin (Alex Russell), begin chronicling the eerie sounds emanating from an excavation, the star-football player (Michael B. Jordan) encourages them to investigate.
Inside they uncover a radiant rock that bathes them in an unearthly glow that imbues them with psychokinesis and the power of flight.
An ultra realistic take on superpowers, Chronicle is an ingenious and freighting account of unchecked ability.
Incidentally, the first thing that one should do after becoming a super-hero is to sell their film rights to Hollywood. 0
***Man inverses Nature***
The Edge
When stranded in the woods, it’s a good idea to throw used tampons into the shrubs to keep bears off your trail.
Unfortunately, the marooned men in this thriller are fresh out of soiled feminine napkins.
When Charles (Anthony Hopkins) crash lands in the wilderness along side Bob (Alec Baldwin), a man he suspects is having an affair with his wife (Elle MacPherson) and plotting his murder, he must resist the urge to beat him to the punch, because there are more pressing matters.
Dwarfing the awkward company and harsh surroundings is a ravenous bear that’s trailing them.
Putting aside their personal matters, Charles and Bob combine their abilities to combat the Kodiak.
Written by David Mamet, The Edge is a taunt tale of male bonding amongst bear attacks. The acting is proficient and the dialogue acute.
However, aren’t grizzlies more apt to attack burly men in tattered clothes?
He’s a Black Punther. He’s the…
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