He’s a Cowpoker. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of June 10, 2011
Dyslexic cowboys milk their horse and ride their cow. First up…
True Grit
To tell if a gunslinger has true grit, have them ride through town sidesaddle, twirling a parasol, whistling: When Johnny Comes Marching Home.
And while the employer of the elderly gun-for-hire in this western doubts his fortitude, she engages his services nonetheless.
Subsequent to collecting her dad’s corpse, 15-year-old Mattie (Elizabeth Marvel) goes about acquiring someone to bring her father’s killer–Chaney (Josh Brolin)–to justice.
Due to his plucky repute, Mattie opts for the alcoholic Cogburn (Jeff Bridges). However, to his chagrin, she insists on riding along.
A Texas Ranger (Matt Damon) in purist of Chaney’s boss (Barry Pepper) later accompanies the pair on the treacherous trail.
A more distilled translation compared to previous cinematic interpretations, this Coen Brothers edition of the popular novel captures its violence, dialect and darkly humorous tones perfectly.
Ironically, due to their incontinent bladders, young and old people are the worst long-distance travel companions. 0
Just Go With It
Vacation destinations offer free services for children because screaming brats encourage alcohol consumption.
Amazingly, it’s not the kids that are cruising-for-a-bruising in this comedy, but their chaperons.
After he gets caught in a lie about being married, Dr. Danny (Adam Sandler) convinces his office assistant Katherine (Jennifer Aniston) to portray his soon-to-be ex-wife in order to woe a woman, Palmer (Brooklyn Decker).
Matters worsen when Palmer insists on accompanying Danny, Katherine and their two children on their last family trip to Hawaii.
Their fake marriage is further tested when Katherine runs into her old rival Devlin (Nicole Kidman) at the resort.
This interpretation of the original stage play is a mockery of comedy: the jokes are pap, the plot is completely predictable and the point is evasive.
Besides, why take your mistress on your family vacation, when you could just as easily rent a fluent whore when you get there? 0
Sanctum
The best part of dying while cave diving is that it saves your family on funeral costs, since you’re body’s already 6-feet underground.
So, naturally the families of the divers in this adventure should be ecstatic that their loved ones are perishing miles below the surface.
Accompanying his father’s benefactor (Ioan Gruffudd) as he heads down to convene with his dad’s (Richard Roxburgh) diving team, 17-year-old Josh’s (Rhys Wakefield) mettle is tested when the caverns flood; pushing the crew deeper underground.
With supplies running low, and optimism even lower, members of the team begin losing their lives to mishaps, mercy killings and madness, all in a futile attempt to reach the surface.
A harrowing journey to the earth’s underwater core, Sanctum is a dazzling, visual thriller, albeit a corny one.
However, before explorers head into uncharted depths, we should really outfit them with old computers to jettison down there. 0
***The Wired, Wired West***
Westworld
When constructing an Old West inspired amusement park, it is important to be authentic. So, the whores should have syphilis.
Unfortunately, the entertainment engineers in this thriller blew their budget on robots.
Looking for some fun, Richard (Peter Martin) and John (James Brolin) decide to vacation at Delos: a high-tech, multi-themed, adult resort, where visitors can choose their own adventure.
Opting for the Old West treatment, the city slickers live out their boyhood fantasies amongst a cast of western-garbed automatons.
However, unbeknownst to them, the robots over in MedievalWorld and RomanWorld have turned murderous.
When the short circuit finally hits Westworld, Richard and John find themselves at the mercy of a merciless mechanical gunfighter (Yul Brynner).
By juxtaposing our machine-filled future with our barbaric and hedonist past, writer-director Michael Crichton forges an intense, thought-provoking parable.
Fortunately, for the patrons of DepressionWorld, when their robots became self-aware...they killed themselves.
He's a Pony Expressionist. He's the...
Vidiot
No comments:
Post a Comment