He’s a Car Alarm Clock. He’s the...
Vidiot
Week of April 5, 2019
Car alarms encourage neighbours to help car
thieves. First up....
Bumblebee
When aliens are choosing which earth
vehicle to transform into it’s best to avoid models designed by Hitler.
Nevertheless, the automaton in this action
movie opted to disguise itself as the people’s car.
As the war between Autobots and Decepticons
ravages their planet, the Autobots dispatch a scout (Dylan O'Brien) to find
them sanctuary. Finding Earth, the scout assumes the form of a VW Beetle and is
subsequently purchased by teenager Charlie (Hailee Steinfeld). It’s not until
she discovers her car is an alien, that Charlie also learns that the military
and Decepticons are after it.
With a greater focus on characters, this
prequel gives fans the original designs of the iconic 80’s characters they
love. A soft reboot of the Transformers franchises as well, this standalone
story is more heartfelt than any of its predecessors.
Best of all, this VW Autobot can suffocate
enemies with excessive carbon dioxide emissions. Green Light
Vice
The Bush presidency was so obsessed with
oil because they needed it to lubricate Dick Cheney’s moving parts.
And while this biography doesn’t confirm
the former VP was a robot, it does address his lack of empathy.
Thanks to his wife (Amy Adams), Dick Cheney
(Christian Bale) lands an internship with the Nixon administration where he
becomes Donald Rumsfeld’s (Steve Carell) lackey. His moral ambiguity and
position at Halliburton make him the ideal running mate for George W. Bush (Sam
Rockwell). However, Cheney wasn’t there to play second fiddle, and after 9/11
he became the puppet-master.
Although brimming with outstanding
performances, this dramedy about the former Veep is terribly one-sided.
Narrated by a fictitious soldier and framed as part documentary, director Adam
McKay attempts to edify viewers with misplaced humour and cartoonish depictions
of non-democrats.
Incidentally, at the end of his term,
Cheney was converted into a Florida voting machine. Red Light
The Dirt
Eighties hair bands never had to worry
about the Me Too movement because everyone thought they were women.
Fortunately, any relationships the band in
this biography had with their groupies appeared consensual.
When drummer Tommy Lee (Colson Baker) gets
word his favourite band has disbanded, he propositions the bass player, Nikki
Six (Douglas Booth), to form a new group with him. After securing guitarist
Mick Mars (Iwan Rheon) and cover band singer Vince Neil (Daniel Webber) the
foursome become Mötley Crüe. Eventually landing a record deal and garnering a
few hits, the glam rockers implode due to drugs.
Focusing mainly on the sex and debauchery,
this montage filled adaptation of the band’s notorious memoirs never goes
beyond their sorted tales. Meanwhile, the acting is pitiable, the dialogue
laughable and the lessons learned are contrived.
And while groupies still exist, nowadays
they have to sleep with the dead lead singer’s hologram. Red Light
***Just Say Obey***
They Live
The biggest threat facing individuals in
the 1980s was retina damage from too much exposure to neon.
Luckily, the drifter in this sci-fi film
has found a pair of black sunglasses to protect his peepers.
A vagabond named Nada (Roddy Piper) comes
across shades that, when worn, allow the wearer to see the subliminal messages
hidden in advertising subconsciously telling citizens to consume, and to obey.
Worse, the sunglasses also reveal there are aliens who’ve been living amongst
us in disguise. Now, Nada and his friend (Keith David) must stop the invasion
before earth’s resources are exhausted.
Known for its lengthy back alley brawl, as
well as inspiring Shepard Fairey’s Obey street artwork, John Carpenter’s cult
classic adaptation of the 1963 short-story still challenges viewers to question
what they see, even if Piper’s acting remains comical.
Thankfully nowadays, shifty advertisers and
their merchandise are kept in check by Instagram influencers.
He’s a Subliminal Message in a Bottle. He’s
the...
Vidiot
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