Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s Power Hangry. He’s the....

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Week of April 12, 2019

Utility companies have all the power. First up...

Holmes & Watson

For criminals, the only benefit to having Sherlock Holmes on the case was that he could be easily bribed with cocaine.

However, in this comedy, the great detective is even more formidable when he has snorted nose candy.

When Holmes (Will Ferrell) and his partner Watson (John C. Reilly) discover a plot by Holmes’ archenemy Professor Moriarty (Ralph Fiennes) to assassinate Queen Victoria, the unorthodox detective only has 4 days to prevent his rival’s plan from occurring. But in order to do that, he must seek help from his brother (Hugh Laurie) as well as a female physician (Rebecca Hall).

Relying solely on humourless anachronisms to propel its overly simplistic story, this is not the first comedic take on the darling detective, but it is certainly the laziest and most cringe-worthy adaptation.

Incidentally, crime scene investigation was so rudimentary in the 1880s that most murders were blamed on solar eclipses.  Red Light

The Highwaymen

Robbing banks during the depression was easy because everyone was wearing a bankruptcy barrel.

Thankfully, the bandits in this drama made themselves easily identifiable by wearing normal clothing.

As Bonnie and Clyde continue their crime spree across the mid-west, the Texas Governor (Kathy Bates) reinstates retired Texas Ranger Frank Hamer (Kevin Costner) to capture the star-crossed killers. Armed with an arsenal and partnered with ex-Ranger Maney Gault (Woody Harrelson), Hamer heads to the couple’s hometown in hopes their kinfolk will rat them out.

While there’s no shortage of movies told from the twosome’s point of view, this middling Netflix retelling is told from the law’s perspective, which is more clinical in its assessment of the pair than most. The real highlight, however, is its frightening portrayal of the folk-heroes crazed fan base.

Nevertheless, proponents of gender equality will be glad to know Bonnie was shot as many times as Clyde.  Yellow Light

On the Basis of Sex

If the law treated the sexes the same than men would be able to cry their way out of speeding tickets.

However, as the solicitor in this drama can attest, the law holds fast to sexist stereotypes.

Unable to find a firm willing to hire her, Ruth Bader Ginsburg (Felicity Jones) takes a job teaching a sexual discrimination class. When presented with a case that challenges sexiest tax laws, RBG jumps at the chance to fight for the rights of a single father. Meanwhile, RBG’s husband (Armie Hammer) and children provide moral support.  

Focusing on a single court case instead of her entire career, this well-acted biopic about the Supreme Court Justice doesn’t do the trailblazer any justice. Although mildly inspirational, it’s also tedious and borders on movie-of-the-week.

And while the sexes may be equal under the law, it won’t stop men from cross-dressing to get a lower bail set.  Yellow Light

***Seventh-Inning Stretch Pants***

A League of Their Own

Considering all the bats they’ve swung at their cheating husbands, baseball seems the ideal sport for women.

But that line of thinking isn’t why the managers in this dramedy decided to add ladies to their roster.

With players off fighting Hitler, MLB is put on life-support. It’s not until it’s suggested that they start a female league that fans return. With manager Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks) in the dugout, catcher Dottie (Geena Davis) at home plate and her sister (Lori Petty) on the mound, the Rockford Peaches become darlings of the circuit.

Thanks to its colourful characters and amiable script, this adaptation of the real life women’s league offers viewers an inside look at this rare act of equality - however short-lived. And while it dips into sentimentality on occasion, it just makes these players more relatable.

Furthermore, the only real difference between female and male baseball players is less ass slapping.

He’s a Loaded Baseman. He's the....

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