Thursday, December 13, 2018

Be Kind, Please Rewind


He’s a Sleigh Rideshare. He’s the…

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Week of December 14, 2018

On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Uber. First up…


The Equalizer 2

The key to keeping every thing equal in society is to treat everybody like crap.

However, the egalitarian in this action movie levels playing fields with firearms.

Rideshare operator Robert McCall (Denzel Washington) does more for his neighbours than simply taxi them around in his vehicle; he also uses his past military experience to settle scores for them. But things get personal when an old colleague (Melissa Leo) of his is killed while investigating the suspicion death of another government agent. To get his retribution, McCall must face his past head-on and heavily armed.

With its plodding pace, infrequent action scenes and boilerplate plot this sequel is much less gratifying than the 2014 adaptation of the 1980s television program. In summation, this outing’s biggest setback is that it is more cloak and dagger than street-level vigilantism.

As for the difference between the two, vigilantes tie their neckties around their foreheads.  Red Light

 

Peppermint

The best way to get drug dealers out of your neighbourhood is to open a methadone clinic.

Mind you, the mom in this action movie is more interested in dismantling the cartel.

When her husband gets mixed up with a kingpin, mild-mannered mom Riley (Jennifer Garner) loses both him and their daughter in a drive-by shooting. Frustrated over the lack of police involvement in the case, Riley takes matters in to her own hands. After months of combat training and target practice, she returns to the streets looking for payback.

While Garner does a serviceable job of working with the hackneyed material, this derivative tale of retribution is par for the course, save for the female lead. However, the melodramatic nature and improbability of the whole affair is pure cult movie material.  

And now that the drug dealers are off the streets, it’s finally safe to open recreational cannabis stores.  Yellow Light


A Simple Favor

The hardest part of being a mother is updating everyone on how hard it is being a mother.

Luckily, the child bearer in this thriller has a blog to keep the world abreast.

Single mom Stephanie (Anna Kendrick) becomes enamored with Emily (Blake Lively), her author husband (Henry Golding) and their lifestyle after their sons share a date. So when Emily asks Stephanie to pick her son up after school, the mommy blogger is more than happy to comply. But when Emily never comes to collect her child, Stephanie finds herself drawn into a world of sex, lies and secrets.

While the overall mystery has a twinge of intrigue at first, the final reveal reeks of movie-of-the-week cliché. Moreover, director Paul Feig adds so many comedic elements and misplaced jokes that it’s hard to take anything serious.

Incidentally, once your mommy blog starts making money you can hire a nanny.  Red Light

***Queen Mary Christmas***


A Christmas Prince

The only people who really fall in love at Christmastime are those who are attracted to shopping mall Santas.

There are exceptions of course, such as the royal rendezvous in this romantic comedy.

With rumours Prince Richard (Ben Lamb) of Aldovia will abdicate the throne, American journalist Amber (Rose McIver) heads to the foreign nation to find out the truth. But when she is mistaken for the governess, Amber gets closer to the prince than expected. With a corrupt cousin ready to usurp, she must now use a document hidden inside a Christmas ornament to convince Richard that he’s the rightful ruler.

Lacking chemistry, this typical seasonal love story from Netflix also suffers from a deficiency of Christmas cheer. While the production values are higher than most Lifetime Christmas movies, the acting and script are pretty much on par.

Furthermore, princes who date commoners spend their Christmas in the guest cottage.

He’s a Wooden Soldier of Fortune. He’s the…

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