He’s a Wild Dogma. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of May 4, 2018
All of God’s creatures are wonderful until
they eat your garden. First up….
Peter Rabbit
The best way to keep rabbits from raiding
your garden is to only grow genetically modified food.
Mind you, the rascal in this
animated-comedy might still enjoy flavourless veggies.
Impish coney Peter Rabbit (James Corden)
and his colony (Margot Robbie, Daisy Ridley, Elizabeth Debicki) spend their
days terrorizing Farmer McGregor (Sam Neill) with pranks before pilfering his
prized vegetable patch. But when McGregor’s hardnosed nephew Thomas (Domhnall
Gleeson) visits, he declares war on the warren, specifically Peter.
Stuck in the middle of the melee is Peter’s
only human friend Bea (Rose Byrne), who Thomas has now taken an interest in.
Padded with alternative musical montages to
compensate for its laugh less script and unlikable lead, this live-action
retelling of Beatrix Potter’s rebellious bunny is blended with computerized
forest creatures, which works visually but not so much narratively.
Besides, any animal testing facility can
easily take care of unruly rabbit populations.
Red Light
Paddington 2
Bears make great house pets until they wake
from hibernation bloodthirsty.
Fortunately, the Ursa Minor in this
animated-comedy can be easily overpowered.
Entrenched in the fabric of the Brown
family (Hugh Bonneville, Sally Hawkins), domesticated bear Paddington (Ben
Whishaw) hopes to show his appreciation to his human hosts by buying his
adoptive aunt (Imelda Staunton) an antique pop-up book for her birthday.
But when the tome turns up missing from Mr.
Gruber’s (Jim Broadbent) shop, Paddington is sent to prison, while the real
culprit uses the manuscript to locate lost treasure.
Charming as ever, this delightful sequel to
the pleasantly surprising original adaptation of the kid lit favourite is as
brilliant as the first. While the computer rendering of the titular character
remains hyper-realistic, the family friendly storyline is even more thoughtful
while the supporting human cast is hilarious.
Moreover, incarcerating bears is a surefire
way to solve prison overpopulation.
Green Light
Hostiles
Without the aid of horses, cowboys would
literally have to ride around on cows.
Thankfully, no one in this Western has to
milk his or her mount every morning.
Indian Wars veteran Capt. Blocker
(Christian Bale) is tasked with one last mission: escort ailing Yellow Hawk
(Wes Studi) to his tribal burial grounds up north.
En route to Montana, Blocker’s regiment
(Jesse Plemons, Timothée Chalamet) encounters a distraught colonist (Rosamund
Pike) whose family was slaughtered by Comanche, as well as a disgraced soldier
(Ben Foster) on his way to the gallows.
While it does veer in to the stereotypical
territory found in old frontier films, this oater at least has strong First
Nations actors involved who honour the dialect. Nevertheless, none of that authenticity
helps the splintered and ambling script filled with more clichés.
Incidentally, when white people jokingly
wore brown face paint in the old west, they got shot. Yellow Light
***Doggone with the Wind***
Old Yeller
Dogs were a necessity for life on the
frontier on account they’d mark your territory.
Mind you, the mutt in this family-drama has
more uses than property surveying.
Civil War veteran Jim (Fess Parker) must
leave his wife (Dorothy McGuire) and sons Travis (Tommy Kirk) and Arliss (Kevin
Corcoran) behind when he joins a cattle drive to earn money for the family.
While Jim is away, Arliss is attacked by a
bear but rescued by locale mongrel Old Yeller whom Arliss adopts as his own.
But when Yeller becomes ill Arliss must make the ultimate decision.
A metaphor for the transition from
childhood into adulthood, Walt Disney’s 1957 adaptation of the frontier novel
brings this unforgettable story to vivid life with a cast of Disney mainstays
supporting the canine’s show stopping performance.
Besides, putting down your first pet
prepares you for when you have to put down a cheating spouse.
He’s a Saddlesore Loser. He’s the…
Vidiot
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