Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s Shakespeare in the Parka. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of March 2, 2018

To ski or not to ski? First up…

 

Murder on the Orient Express

Most train slayings occur when tramps board a boxcar filled with drunken hobos.

However, the choo choo in this mystery is too ritzy for silly rail yard homicides.

While returning to London aboard the famed Orient Express, the equally eminent Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh) is propositioned by a fellow passenger (Johnny Depp) looking to hire the detective to protect him for the duration of their journey.

It’s not until the man turns up dead does Poirot grasp the seriousness of his offer. Intrigue, as always, Poirot gathers the other passengers/suspects (Willem Dafoe, Michelle Pfeiffer, Judi Dench, Josh Gad, Penélope Cruz, Daisy Ridley) and interrogates them.

In the latest adaptation of Agatha Christie’s whodunit, Branagh manages to pull off her meticulous sleuth, but stumbles as the film’s director. While the reveal is still a classic, the real crime is the underutilized supporting cast.

Sadly though, most killers in train related deaths are drunken engineers.  Yellow Light

 

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Without roadside billboards out of control vehicles would just careen into an empty farmer’s pasture.

Luckily, the small-town in this drama has an excess of advertisement opportunity.

Fuming over the fact that the local sheriff (Woody Harrelson) still hasn’t arrested any suspects in the rape/murder of her teenage daughter 7-months ago, Mildred (Frances McDormand) purchases ad space on three billboards and uses them to taunt the sheriff and his inept and racist deputy (Sam Rockwell).

Messing with the authorities, however, only brings the hammer down harder on Mildred, her family and her friends. Fortunately, everyone else in Ebbing is as fed up with the law enforcement as her.

In spite of its many strong performances and complex script that blends comedy with its tragedy, this fictitious narrative comes off as unrealistic, malicious and laughable at the end.

Besides, to really distract drivers from the road you need 3 digital billboards. Yellow Light

 

Coco

When returning for the Day of the Dead, the biggest obstacle Mexican ghosts face is scaling Trump’s metaphysical wall.

Fortunately, the deceased in this animated-musical has no one on the other side to visit.

More concerned with being a musician, like his grandfather (Benjamin Bratt), then joining the family business, Miguel (Anthony Gonzalez) steals his dead abuelo’s guitar. But when he strums the instrument Miguel is spirited to the land of the dead, where he must work with a disgraced skeleton (Gael García Bernal) to get back home before he joins the dead.

A vibrant and colourful adventure that utilizes elements from the Mexican holiday to weave a touching tale about family, tradition and life after death that is accompanied by a handful of toe-tapping tunes and spirit animals, Coco offers terrific insight into this misunderstood holiday.

However, instead of visiting with family most ghosts return to Mexico for the donkey show.  Green Light

***Murder Mystery Meat***

Murder by Death

The best thing to bring with you to a murder mystery dinner is a rock-solid alibi.

Regrettably, the guests in this comedy have only brought motives.

Determined to prove himself the master sleuth, eccentric millionaire Lionel Twain (Truman Capote) invites the world’s most renowned detectives - Inspector Wang (Peter Sellers), Sam Diamond (Peter Falk), Dick and Dora Charleston (David Niven, Maggie Smith), Jessica Marbles (Elsa Lanchester), Milo Perrier (James Coco) – to dinner at his secluded manor estate. Later, the masterminds must solve Twain’s murder before morning if they hope to claim the million-dollar prize money.

Playwright turned screenwriter Neil Simon’s sardonic send-up of murder mystery authors, like Agatha Christie, their penchant for swanky locales, like a millionaire’s mansion, and their virtuoso detectives, like Hercule Poirot, Murder by Death’s wonderful lampooning is marred only by Sellers’ racist Charlie Chan impersonation.

Incidentally, when entertaining detectives be sure to lock the liquor cabinet.

He’s a Reasonable Doubting Thomas. He’s the…

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