You Were Kind. You Did Rewind.

He's the Womanizer of the Year. He's the...

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Week of December 31, 2017

The Best and Worst Movie of the Year. First up....

 

Logan

You can tell a superhero is getting old when villains start using credit-card scams on them.

Luckily, the aged protagonist in this action movie knows to keep his PIN protected.

A weathered Wolverine/Logan (Hugh Jackman) struggles to survive in a mutant-less future where his healing factor is failing and his once powerful mentor (Patrick Stewart) suffers from Alzheimer's.

Matters worsen when a young mutant (Dafne Keen) escapes from a laboratory and asks for his help in reaching a mutant safe haven up north. Accepting, however, puts the irritable immortal’s life in danger for the first – and possibly last - time.

Focusing more on the character than his infamous claws, this end chapter of the Jackman era may suffer from some lulls but is ultimately a fitting tribute to the troubled Canuck with strong performances, furious action and a moving script.

Incidentally, elderly superheroes always keep some candy in their spandex.

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The Emoji Movie

Growing up the only emoticon you were allowed to feel was: Smiling Face.

As per this animated-adventure: Now there’s a myriad of symbols to emote your psychosis.

Inside of a teenager’s phone lives a multifaceted face emoji, Gene (T.J. Miller), that doesn’t want to be defined by his ‘meh’ designation, like his parents, so he teams up with a HI-5 sign (James Corden) and a hacker (Anna Faris) that can help fix his glitch before Gene is deleted.

But to repair Gene they must survive Candy Crush, Instagram and Spotify.

A platform for app and software companies to reach impressionable young minds, this commercial masked as a 3-D kids cartoon is corporate brainwashing. Intent on creating brand loyalty amongst preschoolers by way of cutesy characters, showing this schlock to minors should be deemed child abuse.       

Furthermore, who needs emoticons when every human emotion can be articulated by a dick pic?

He's a Polar Bear Club Sandwich. He's the...

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