Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s Snow Ballsy. He’s the…

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Week of December 15, 2017

Real holiday heroes die inside chimneys. First up…


Kingsman: The Golden Circle

The biggest difference between British and US intelligence is which side of the road they park the surveillance van.

Sadly, the spooks in this action-adventure have lost all of their spy gear.

When the Kingsman organization - save for Eggsy (Taron Egerton) and his quartermaster (Mark Strong) - is wiped out by a drug baroness, Poppy (Julianne Moore), intent on poisoning her users, the surviving Kingsman get aid from their American counterpart, The Statesman (Channing Tatum, Halle Berry, Jeff Bridges).

Now this ragtag team must penetrate Poppy’s Cambodian stronghold before her toxin takes the lives of millions.

The obligatory sequel to the groundbreaking original, this overstuffed follow-up features the same eye-popping action but ad nauseam this time. Furthermore, the cartoonishness of the violence has seeped into the script and acting, particularly Elton John’s excruciating performance.

Besides, if you kill all of the recreational drug users then alcoholics will run rampant.  Red Light


Detroit

Rioting nowadays only occurs when a sports team loses the championship.

However, as this drama reminds us, riots were once used to protest injustice.

In the wake of a police raid on an African-American club in 1967 Detroit, Governor Romney dispatches the National Guard to help local authorities contain the looting on 12th Street.

When shots are fired from a nearby motel, overzealous officer Philip Krauss (Will Poulter), his fellow guardsmen and a private security guard, Melvin Dismukes (John Boyega), violently interrogate the black occupants to find the shooter. Matters escalate when two white girls are assaulted under Krauss’ twisted game.

A chilling tale of police brutality that still holds true today, this well-acted and heart wrenching depiction of actual people and events is hard to watch at times, but harder still to ignore.

Furthermore, be sure to always carry a box of donuts with you to avoid police harassment.  Green Light

  
Home Again

The best thing about returning home is your parents are too weak to boss you around any more.

Unfortunately, the single mom in this rom-com only has one parent left to abuse.

In the wake of her separation from her record producer husband (Michael Sheen), fledgling interior designer Alice (Reese Witherspoon) moves back to LA to live in her filmmaker father’s mansion, so that her mother (Candice Bergen) can help rear her daughters while she starts her business.

Alice finds more assistance – and romance - when she invites three aspiring young filmmakers (Pico Alexander, Jon Rudnitsky, Nat Wolff) to live with her.

Light on laughs and a plausible love story, this dissertation on modern middle-aged womanhood is a shallow and delusional depiction that never finds its lead character rising above her petty sexual desires.

Besides, the only time men will squabble over an older woman is when she is a boat.  Red Light

***Married Christmas***


The Thin Man

The hardest part of being single at Christmas is figuring out what gift to get your sex doll.

Luckily, the couple in this whodunit can verbally communicate their wish list to each other.

When ex-gumshoe Nick Charles (William Powell) and his heiress wife Nora (Myrna Loy), along with their faithful terrier Asta, head to NYC for the holidays the last thing they expect to do is solve a murder. But when a client’s daughter (Maureen O'Sullivan) asks him to find her missing father, Nick has no choice but to help when a decomposed body turns up.

The first episode in the long-running film series based on Dashiell Hammett’s fast-talking, hard-drinking, crime solving couple of independent means, this initial installment is a triumph, not only in its sleuthing but in the chemistry between Charles’.

Incidentally, sticking a suspect’s tongue to a frozen pole is a good way to get a confession.

He’s Jack Frostbite. He’s the…

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