He’s a Foot-long Submissive. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of May 12, 2017
Dominatrixes just make you pick-up their
dry cleaning. First up…
Fifty Shades Darker
It’s a safe bet that being tied up in bed
is the sexual fetish of every escape artist.
However, the subservient in this erotic
drama isn’t exactly dislocating her shoulder.
While she is working as an assistant book
editor, Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) attends an art event where she runs into her
wealthy ex-boyfriend/dominate Christian (Jamie Dornan), who wants her back.
She quickly agrees to rekindle their kinky
relationship but under one condition: no more punishment. Meanwhile,
Christian’s former submissive (Bella Heathcote) and his mature mentor (Kim
Basinger) both reappear in his life to wreak havoc on his current affair.
While it is twice as titillating as the
initial soft-core film adaptation of E. L. James’s erotic bestseller, this
superfluous sequel still lacks a semi-interesting storyline, skilled actors to
portray the flimsy characters and dialogue that isn’t completely ridiculous.
Incidentally, BDSM paraphernalia can also
be used a weapon against home invaders.
Red Light
Gold
The worst part of gold digging is that you
to have to spank an 80-year-old ass.
Fortunately this drama is about
prospecting, not sleeping with the elderly.
Kenny’s (Matthew McConaughey) an
ineffective entrepreneur who tries his hand at mining. Partnering with a
geologist (Édgar Ramírez) the two raise enough capital to fund a dig in
Indonesia. Initially unsuccessful, they eventual strike a vein that sends Wall
Street into a tizzy.
With investors and governments now onboard,
Kenny finally gets the notoriety he craves. But a ploy by his partner could put
their entire deposit in jeopardy.
A loose adaptation of the 1993 Canadian
mining company sandal that rocked the industry, this well-acted yet highly
fictional account of Bre-X not only Americanizes the Canuck content, but it
also dumbs down the material with its derivative crime-drama script.
However, when Canadians do strike it rich
they tend to pimp out their igloos.
Yellow Light
***Tantric or Treat***
9 ½ Weeks
The best thing about a one-night stand is
that you don’t have to sleep at the shelter.
The lucky devil in this erotic drama, in
fact, has been living cot-free for months.
When Wall Street financial whiz John Gray
(Mickey Rourke) encounters art galley employee Elizabeth (Kim Basinger) they
have an instant sexual connection that will soon find Elizabeth stepping
outside her boundaries.
Over the coming weeks, John enforces his
dominance over his new submissive, yet is unwilling to meet her friends
socially. As their explicit encounters intensify, Elizabeth’s work and
wellbeing begins to suffer, while John’s mysterious past slowly reveals itself.
Although not the first erotic-romance to
grace celluloid, this provocative piece of BDSM from 1986 remains a touchstone
of the sub-genre. Deeply psychological and highly carnal, director Adrian Lyne
blends both elements artistically.
Interestingly enough, thanks to technology
we have shaved random hookups down to 9 ½ minutes.
He’s a Wisdominatrix. He’s the…
Vidiot
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