Be Kind, Please Rewind

He has an Adhering Problem. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of November 25, 2016

Always remember to follow-through when giving up. First up…

​

War Dogs

The worst thing about war profiteering is that the ghosts of your victims haunt your money.

Luckily, possessed Benjamins don’t deter the amoral marketers in this dramedy.

Following a string of dead-end jobs, David Packouz (Miles Teller) decides to take his old high school buddy Efraim Diveroli (Jonah Hill) up on his offer to help him sell small shipments of firearms to the US war effort in Iraq.

But when the deals start getting dangerous, then downright illegal, David’s conscience and pregnant wife (Ana de Armas) start to influence his decisions.

A highly fictionalized adaptation of an investigative article later elongated into a bestseller, War Dogs embraces its dramatized narrative for the sake of light entertainment. And while the leads do work while together, their puerile antics slight the gravity of the film’s context.

Incidentally, it’s surprising that two Americans did all this work without having to outsource to India.  Yellow Light

Mechanic: Resurrection

Before you go and resurrect a retired mechanic remember that there’s a huge service fee attached.

Auspiciously, the fixer in this action movie is being blackmailed out of retirement.

Living the good life under an assumed name, former hitman Bishop (Jason Statham) is lured back into action by Gina (Jessica Alba), a distraught woman that he falls head-over-heels for.

Forced by Bishop’s old training buddy Crain (Sam Hazeldine) to seduce his adversary, Gina is now being held hostage by Crain until Bishop completes three complicated kills for him that will take him around the globe, and to the brink of danger.

While it does come equipped with some spectacular action sequences, this unnecessary sequel to the middling 2011 remake of the Charles Bronson original doesn’t have the acting quality or engaging storyline to warrant a closer inspection. 

Besides, everybody already knows that hire guns and Pop Diva’s never stay retired. Red Light

***Bullet Wholesale***

​

Mr. Majestyk

You should never piss off a farmer because they exact revenge very early in the morning.

Unfortunately, the hitman in this action movie went and done it anyway.

All ex-Army Ranger turned watermelon farmer Vince Majestyk (Charles Bronson) wants to do is bring in his harvest. A local hood, however, wants Majestyk to employ his lazy workers over Mexican migrants to perform this task.

Their disagreement lands Majestyk in lockup where he gets entangled with a button-man (Al Lettieri) plotting a prison break. The melon farmer hopes to leverage this info towards saving his crop. But doing so makes him a marked man.

A role tailored made for Bronson’s brand of cool bravado, this skillfully directed adaptation of crime novelist Elmore Leonard’s book has a real sense of grit and realism to it that most angry veteran movies lack.

Moreover, melon farming sounds way more titillating than it actually is.

He gets Two Green Thumbs Down. He’s the…

Vidiot