He’s a Recover Model. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of May 20, 2016
Modelling is just sleeping with the right creepy
photographer. First up…
Zoolander 2
Fashion isn’t filled with self-absorbed
skinny people any more; it’s filled with narcissistic fat people.
Fortunately for the returning Adonis in
this comedy, the plus size trend hasn’t affected the male modelling side.
After inadvertently killing his wife,
former male-model Zoolander (Ben Stiller) returns from self-imposed exile to
partner with a Fashion Interpol agent (Penélope Cruz) and a former rival (Owen
Wilson) to save his estranged son (Cyrus Arnold) from a mad designer (Will
Ferrell) who believes his blood is the key to eternal youth.
The extremely overdue sequel to the
15-year-old cult classic, this commercially-driven continuation of the
conceited character is more concerned with gratuitous cameos than it is with
fresh material.
In fact, writer-director Ben Stiller milks
past favourites like Billy Zane and Will Ferrell to death, while the overall
story just lacks vigor.
Incidentally, the only infirmity that still
keeps people from being a super-model is being 5'5. Red Light
Dirty Grandpa
Spring break is convenient for senior
citizens because they already all live in Florida.
And while the vulgar elder in this comedy
isn’t there yet…he’s on his way.
Straight-laced lawyer Jason (Zac Efron)
rekindles his relationship with his grandfather, Dick (Robert De Niro), at his
grandmother’s funeral. During their interaction, he agrees to drive the widower
to Boca Raton.
Much to the chagrin of his fiancée
(Julianne Hough), Jason and Dick hit the road, where Jason learns his grandpa’s
personality matches his phallic name.
From drugs and alcohol to felonies and
coeds (Zoey Deutch, Aubrey Plaza), Dick’s determined to enrich his grandson’s
stuffy lifestyle.
The timeworn tale of an eccentric mentor
edifying an uptight pupil but drenched in geriatric semen jokes and soulless
performances, this raunchy road trip is both equally pointless and repugnant.
Moreover, when you have unprotected sex
with an old person you’re liable to contract liver spots. Red Light
The Witch
The key to surviving in a Puritan society
was accusing as many people of witchcraft as you could.
Unfortunately, any accusation of necromancy
in this horror movie would fall directly on relatives.
Excommunicated from their New England
colony, William (Ralph Ineson), his wife (Kate Dickie), their eldest Thomasin
(Anya Taylor-Joy) and her siblings relocate to an isolated homestead adjacent
to a forest.
When the newborn and the eldest son
disappear and the family’s goat starts speaking to the children, rumors of
sorcery start circulating with Thomasin as the prime suspect.
An unnerving but authentic look at family
life in 17th century, this multi-layered slow-burner embodies the dialect,
dress and superstitions of the pious of those paranoid times.
Meanwhile, the subversive script is
supplemented by haunting imagery, restrained direction and notable
performances.
Mind you, any demon ordering you to dance
naked in the woods is probably recording it from the bushes. Yellow Light
***GreenWitch Village***
Bell, Book and Candle
Witches got along with beatniks because
their incessant bongo drumming helped conjure the devil.
The witch in this romance, however, is more
attracted to their bohemian lifestyle.
Free spirited sorceress Gillian (Kim Novak)
places a love spell on her uptight neighbour Shep (James Stewart) after she
learns he’s engaged to her former college rival (Janice Rule).
But her plan backfires when she falls for
the bewitched publisher who has just hired an author (Ernie Kovacs) to pen a
book on witchcraft in Greenwich Village with her warlock brother (Jack Lemmon)
as a consultant.
The Technicolor adaption of the Broadway
play inspired by the novel of the same name, this wicked little love story is
set against the cool aesthetic of 1950s Beat culture and is one of few films on
witchcraft where male witches are equally represented.
Mind you, no one wants to see naked wizards
dancing in the woods.
He’s a Black Arts Critic. He’s the…
Vidiot
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