He’s a Soldier of Fortune Cookies. He’s
the…
Vidiot
Week of May 13, 2016
You never see hired gun booths at the
career fair. First up…
Deadpool
When the random shooter jobs are all taken,
mercenary work is the next best option for ex-military.
However, the garrulous gunman in this
action-comedy proves you can do both.
Mercenary Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds)
undergoes cancer treatment for his girlfriend (Morena Baccarin). But instead of
a cure, the formula activates his mutant healing ability and leaves him
disfigured.
With help from some X-Men (Brianna
Hildebrand, Stefan Kapičić) he adopts a mask, a moniker and a light-hearted
outlook on his off kilter quest for revenge on the perpetrator (Ed Skrein).
From Reynolds on-point portrayal, to the
cartoony violence and the fourth-wall narrative, this reappearance of Marvel’s
merc with a mouth after his ill-fated debut in an earlier X-film is a ribald
and refreshing reboot that is as faithful to the self-aware smart-ass as can
be.
Furthermore, it shows burn victims a jazzy
costume is all they need to reacclimatize to society. Green Light
The Boy
The best thing about babysitting British
kids is they’ll believe your skulking boyfriend is actually a magical chimney
sweep.
Unfortunately, that fib wouldn’t fly with
the inanimate child in this horror movie.
After a breakup stateside, Great (Lauren
Cohan) gets a nanny gig at an English manor where she’ll be looking after the
Heelshire’s (Jim Norton, Diana Hardcastle) son, Brahms.
When she arrives she’s shocked to learn
Brahms is really a doll the homeowners believe to be their deceased son. While
they’re away, Greata must adhere to Brahms’ strict schedule, or face his cruel
wraith.
Relying on the played out premise of a
possessed doll to deliver its hackneyed scares, this horrible haunter has no
redeeming qualities to speak of, including the toy’s design or it’s failed
attempt at an eerie ambiance.
Besides, the only way to rid yourself of a
haunted doll is to give it to your dog.
Red Light
***Dead Pool Cleaner***
The Dead Pool
To successfully predict celebrity deaths,
you must first know which stars are addicted to Percocet.
Thankfully, the detective in this action
movie has a cheat sheet of likely victims.
Renowned police inspector Harry Callahan
(Clint Eastwood) and his new partner (Evan C. Kim) investigate a singer’s (Jim
Carrey) death on the set of a music video.
When the producer is also killed, a list of
names surfaces that reveals a morbid game in which participants bet on the life
expectancy of famous people, including Callahan.
On a tip from the director (Liam Neeson),
Callahan’s turned on to a schizophrenic super-fan (David Hunt).
The final Dirty Harry movie, this iffy
fifth installment in the franchise doesn’t do much in the way of delivering a
memorable departure, save for its title, which Marvel later used for a
comic-book character.
Nowadays, when a singer inadvertently dies
on-set they just activate their hologram.
He’s a Third World Tour Manager. He’s the…
Vidiot
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