Vidiot
Week of April 29, 2016
Order earns more than Law. First up…
Ride Along 2
Telling your kids you went on a police ride along when you were really arrested only works once.
Nonetheless, the makers behind this comedy feel that their audience is less astute.
To get her rookie officer fiancé Ben (Kevin Hart) out of the way so she can plan their nuptials, Angela (Tika Sumpter) asks her reluctant brother James (Ice Cube) to take him along to Miami while he investigates a drug lord, Pope (Benjamin Bratt).
But to bring him down they must team-up with a local detective (Olivia Munn) and one of Pope’s hacker (Ken Jeong) who has been skimming money from him.
The needless sequel to the middling original, this second go-round has too many similarities to the original to be worthwhile, including weak action, hollow acting and a serious joke deficiency.
Incidentally, on Canadian police ride alongs you get to sit up on the horse behind the Mountie. Red Light
Krampus
German folktales have to be that much scarier because the country’s history is already a nightmare.
Which explains why the St. Nick in this horror-comedy is a demon.
According to Germanic lore, when children lose their holiday spirit they’re visited by the satanic opposite of Santa, The Krampus.
At the top of his list this year is Max (Emjay Anthony) and his family (Adam Scott, Toni Collette, Allison Tolman, David Koechner), who have forgotten the meaning of the season.
Krampus hopes to remind them with help from his demonic gingerbread men.
While it’s rousing to see this Christmas creature get its’ due, this loose and laugh-less adaptation of the legend isn’t the holiday masterpiece it deserves. In fact, the ancillary villains distract from The Krampus - whose design is already questionable.
As for how to kill a Krampus, lure him to a Black Friday sale where he’ll be trampled to death. Yellow Light
***Hairy Arm of the Law***
WolfCop
If werewolves were allowed on the force, they’d no doubt be butting heads with the K-9 unit all the time.
Case in point, the lycanthropic patrolman in this horror-comedy.
Small-town police sergeant Lou Garou (Leo Fafard) gets mixed up in the occult when he stumbles on a human sacrifice involving a local politician. This encounter leaves Lou with heightened senses and a hairy complexion.
Still lucid while in his wolf form, Garou dons his badge and helps his partner (Amy Matysio) put an end to these otherworldly rituals intended to replenish the reptilian race (Jonathan Cherry, Sarah Lind) infesting their jurisdiction.
A brazen B-movie through-and-through, this all-Canadian gore-fest utilizes its home and native land’s second-rate production values and tepid acting abilities to jury-rig together a cult classic that every camp-loving Canucks can be proud of.
Unfortunately, however, when wolf-cops are on-duty there is a drastic increase in unarmed cat shootings.
He’s Six-Armed and Dangerous. He’s the…
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