He’s a Deforest Creature. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of April 15, 2016
Log homes are just repurposed forests.
First up…
The Forest
The best part about sightseeing tours to
the suicide forest is that the ride back is less crowded.
Case in point, the missing American in this
horror movie.
After receiving word her twin Jess has
disappeared in a forest at the base of Mount Fuji known as a suicide hotspot,
Sara (Natalie Dormer) dashes to Japan.
Along with a guide (Yukiyoshi Ozawa) and a
reporter (Taylor Kinney), she retraces her sister’s footsteps. But only the
reporter is willing to stay in the forest overnight with her because it’s
haunted.
This is later confirmed when a ghost warns
Sara’s about her traveling partner.
Inspired by the real Aokigahara forest,
this misguided attempt at psychological terror falls short. In fact, it’s less
than jarring narrative can never seem to commit to a genre. With haphazard
visual jolts trumping the few psychosomatic scares.
Besides, one mammal’s suicide forest is
another mammal’s international buffet.
Red Light
The Hallow
If you’re moving into a densely wooded area
don’t be surprised to find dead sex-trade workers on your hikes.
Mind you, the only corpses the family in
this horror movie is likely to find are their own.
Relocating his wife (Bojana Novakovic) and
child to an isolated Irish village where he’ll be surveying for a future
deforesting, Adam (Joseph Mawle) is warned about the local woods’ otherworldly
inhabitants but pays no mind.
It’s not until they’re attacked do they
take the wee-folk rumors seriously. Adam is specifically intrigued by
Changelings and becomes convinced that his son is one.
Eschewing traditional monsters for an
ancient but underrated one, this British/Irish co-production not only brings
longstanding Irish folklore to the forefront but also does it in a frightening
fashion that sets this import apart from its insipid American cousins.
Moreover, who’s to say the Fay don’t
want a Starbucks in their forest? Green
Light
***Myth Behavin’***
Three Wise Fools
Deforestation is beneficial to the Fay
because its means baristas jobs aplenty.
And while the fairy-tree in this fantasy
isn’t becoming a Starbucks, it’s about to be uprooted.
Determined to leave a legacy that’ll allude
to their generosity, three misers (Lionel Barrymore, Edward Arnold, Lewis
Stone) donate land to the university.
But their vanity project is put on hold
when they learn the property actually belongs to an Irish orphan (Margaret
O'Brien) whose grandmother all three had courted.
But the waif is unwilling to sell on
account a tree on the parcel is refuge to the wee-folk.
Despite its unfortunate casting of little
people as the forest imps, this 1946 adaptation of the stage-play does capture
the enchantment of Irish folklore, and the transformative effects it has on the
disillusioned.
However, if we saved every tree based on
fairytales all we’d have to show for it would be stupid oxygen.
He’s a Folk Laureate. He’s the…
Vidiot
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