He’s a Shitstorm Trooper. He’s the…
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Week of April 8, 2016
Who needs LASIK when you have a lightsaber?
First up…
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Despite its liberation years ago, the
Galaxy is once more under the control of a new Sith Lord: Darth Disney.
And while the Dark Mouse doesn’t make an
appearance in this sci-fi movie, his presence is felt.
A forager, Rey (Daisy Ridley), befriends a
droid transporting the whereabouts of the last Jedi (Mark Hamill) to the
resistance General (Carrie Fisher). But an overzealous member of The First
Order (Adam Driver) wants the droid too, so Rey must flee with help from an
ex-stormtrooper (John Boyega).
Later, they align themselves with a
grizzled smuggler (Harrison Ford) with knowledge of Rey’s newfound abilities.
With stunning effects and organic worlds,
Disney’s continuation returns the franchise back to basics.
Unfortunately, that also includes familiar
menaces, similar plot points and a plagiaristic ending. Not to mention a
petulant child posturing as the villain.
Furthermore, where does Disney get off not
including any sing-along kids songs? Yellow Light
***Cryogenic Sleepover***
Buck Rogers
The key to deterring space invaders is
making the Earth as inhabitable as possible.
Fortunately for the future earthlings in
this sci-fi movie, modern man almost succeeded.
Awoken from suspended animation in 2491,
Buck Rogers (Gil Gerard) finds his home world a wasteland besieged by
space-pirates being held at bay by Earth's defensive shield.
Teaming with a resistance Colonel (Erin
Gray), a doctor (Tim O'Connor), a supercomputer and a robot (Mel Blanc), Buck
plans to thwart the nefarious plans of an enemy envoy (Pamela Hensley, Henry
Silva) headed to New Chicago for a peace treaty.
Based on the operatic outer-space comic
strip from the 1920s which inspired Star Wars creator George Lucas, this 1979
feature-film adaptation is hindered by its made-for-TV origins, and its
similarity to the aforementioned galaxy far, far away.
However, unlike Star Wars, you can rest
assure that all of Buck’s droids are out of the closet.
He’s a Wookie Mistake. He’s the…
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