He’s a Reindeer Hunter. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of December 5, 2014
Red noses make easy targets. First up…
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
The ironic thing about an ape planet is it’ll eventually evolve into a human planet.
Mind you, there are humans in this sci-fi film - and that’s an issue.
When a pandemic wipes out San Francisco, a small contingent of survivors (Jason Clarke, Keri Russell, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Kirk Acevedo) heads into the forest in hopes of activating a power generator.
Standing in their way, however, is the talking ape Caesar (Andy Serkis) and his simian army.
While the groups strike an accord, treachery on both sides results in war within the protected walls of the humans’ citadel.
The follow-up to the 2011 re-imagining of the landmark original, Dawn maintains the themes of its inspiration, while bringing more depth to the human/ape dynamic.
The impeccable special effects also help elevate this sequel to higher level of story telling.
Incidentally, you don’t want to know what warring apes fling from their catapults. Green Light
The Hundred-Foot Journey
The hardest part of owning an Indian restaurant is convincing patrons you don’t serve venison jerky and bannock.
Thankfully, the diners in this dramedy know what culture curry belongs to.
When political turmoil uproots the Kadam family from India and deposits them in the French countryside, Papa (Om Puri) decides to open an Indian restaurant with his son Hassan (Manish Dayal) at the helm.
Standing in their way, however, is Madame Mallory (Helen Mirren), the proprietor of the Michelin Star restaurant a hundred-feet away who’ll stop at nothing to sabotage their menu.
But the family, especially Hassan, is desperate to prove to her his spicy cuisine is as relevant as escargot.
Unfocussed and too familiar, this Spielberg/Oprah produced adaptation of the novel panders to every emotion imaginable with little affect.
The same applies to the obvious romances between the warring restaurants.
Besides, if you just put La in front of dishes like Aloo gobi it sounds French. Yellow Light
As Above, So Below
If French literature has taught us anything it’s that oddities occupy Paris’ opera houses and bell towers.
So it makes sense the film-crew in this horror movie would find something strange under the city.
Hell-bent on finding the philosopher's stone located in the catacombs beneath Paris, Scarlett (Perdita Weeks), her cameraman (Edwin Hodge), her translator (Ben Feldman), her guide (François Civil) and his friends head into the bowels of the earth.
It’s not long until the group begins to hear and see peculiar things happening around them.
Even more off-putting is the fact that these occurrences relate back to their individual lives.
The deeper they descend the more delirious they become and the direr their situation gets.
However, there’s only one thing beneath Persians…and it’s every other country. Green Light
***Christmas Kooky***
Christmas in Connecticut
When cooking tofurky for Christmas remember to baste it in Nyquil to get that tryptophan feeling.
Or, you can do like the journalist in this comedy and tell your cook to do it.
Writing bogus copy about her husband, child and Connecticut farmhouse, food columnist Elizabeth (Barbara Stanwyck) must now materialize these lies to host a war-hero (Dennis Morgan) for Christmas dinner - at the behest of her oblivious publisher (Sydney Greenstreet).
Marrying a friend (Reginald Gardiner) who owns a country house, hiring a chef (S.Z. Sakall) and borrowing a baby, she plays house with great incompetence.
Struggling to maintain her façade, her infatuation with the soldier and the dinner menu, her house of cards starts to crumble.
A sophisticated screwball comedy in a picturesque snowy countryside setting, Christmas in Connecticut is a neglected holiday gem.
Incidentally, the biggest tell that she isn’t a real food writer is her sinuous frame.
He’s Built a House of Christmas Cards. He’s the…
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