He’s a Hobobit. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of April 11, 2014
Shopping carts are precious. First up…
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
If you want to find a dragon nowadays, just attend a Game of
Thrones themed wedding.
In Middle Earth times - as in this adventure - you would
find one near the largest supply of dwarf bullion.
The Halfling Bilbo (Martin Freeman) and the wizard Gandalf
(Ian McKellen) continue their quest to help the dwarf king (Richard Armitage)
reclaim his kingdom from a dragon (Benedict Cumberbatch).
This leg of their journey is fraught with giant spiders, a
were-bear, Orcs and an ominous Necromancer.
Fortunately, they receive assistance from some elves
(Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly), a smuggler (Luke Evans) and giant eagles
along the way.
The second half of The Hobbit saga, Desolation of Smaug
outdoes its predecessor with its prompter pacing, action orientated story, and
infusion of human and Elvin blood.
And just imagine: once they get their treasure back, the
dwarves can finally get those gold plated leg extensions. Green
Light
Grudge Match
When old men box, the below the belt rule needs to be
changed to: no hitting below the knees.
While it’s unsure if the ripened pugilists in this comedy
have low-hanging fruit, it’s true both are out of shape.
During a video game recording session, former ring rivals
Billy “The Kid” (Robert De Niro) and “Razor” Sharp (Sylvester Stallone)
reignite their enmity over Billy knocking up Razor’s girlfriend (Kim Basinger).
Their impromptu bout is caught on camera and goes viral.
Enter fight promoter Dante (Kevin Hart), who wishes to
capitalize on this renewed interest with a reunion fight.
The end result, however, not only affects their bodies but
it touches their personal lives.
While it has a few comic jabs, overall this over-the-hill
comedy languishes in hammy acting and out-of-touch old folks humour.
Thankfully, their boxing gloves keep us from seeing either
of the elderly combatants veiny, liver spotted hands. Red Light
August: Osage County
If your elderly parent is turning into a pill-popper,
replace their daily dosage with Skittles.
Unfortunately, the addict in this dark-comedy is cognizant.
When their father (Sam Shepard) goes missing, the daughters
(Julia Roberts, Juliette Lewis, Julianne Nicholson) of the cancerous Violet
(Meryl Streep) return home with their significant others (Ewan McGregor,
Abigail Breslin, Dermot Mulroney) for support.
Eventually, their father’s body is found and family secrets
- a love child between him and Violet’s sister (Margo Martindale) and an
incestuous affair between the youngest daughter and a cousin (Benedict
Cumberbatch) - are exposed.
But instead of concealing these nuggets like her broken
marriage, Violet’s eldest daughter confronts her mother... physically.
Boasting an epic ensemble, this adaptation of the play is
certainly well performed. However, the characters being portrayed are extremely
difficult to like.
Besides, when you’re elderly parent starts becoming a
nuisance, it’s time to introduce them to base-jumping. Yellow Light
***Lord of the Ring***
Requiem for a Heavyweight
You can tell a boxer is over-the-hill when they come to the
ring wearing their bathrobe.
After getting knocked out by Cassius Clay in this drama,
“Mountain” Rivera (Anthony Quinn) hangs up his gloves in hopes of landing a
less violent gig.
But when his manager’s (Jackie Gleason) life is threatened
by a bookie, Mountain must put his aspirations on hold, swallow his pride, and
enter the wrestling ring.
Despite his embarrassment in the theatrics, Mountain agrees
to the match-up, much to the chagrin of his career counselor/ love interest
(Julie Harris).
Based on the teleplay by Twilight Zone’s Rod Serling, this
film adaptation of the scribe’s sci-fi free script is altered for cinematic
purposes, but the pathos of an archaic contender is still present, and is pure
Rod Serling.
The worst thing about being a retired boxer, however, is
with your slurred speech, everyone keeps enrolling you in A.A.
He’s a Surprise Fighter. He’s the…
Vidiot
No comments:
Post a Comment