Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Wow Factory Worker. He’s the…

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Week of November 1, 2013

We get education to work and work to pay-off education. First up…

Monsters University

Higher education benefits all creatures so long as they don’t major in Monster Anthropology, Monster Psychology or Monster Fine Arts.

Luckily, neither creepy co-ed in this animated-comedy is studying the aforementioned.

At M.U. for a degree in scaring children to supply energy to their world, one-eyed teenage monster Mike Wazowski (Billy Crystal) isn’t as well received at school as his fellow scarer Sulley (John Goodman).

To prove his frightfulness, Mike joins a rag-tag fraternity (Charlie Day, Joel Murray, Dave Foley, Sean Hayes) and competes in the Scare Games alongside Sulley.

But their doubt in each other threatens to cost them the event - and their education.

The prequel to Monsters Inc., Monster University reunites the monsters but doesn’t give them much to work with in the way of narrative, substance or laughs.

What’s worse, these monsters will have to carry around their student loan debt until angry villagers behead them.  Yellow Light

R.I.P.D.

If there is a ghost police department than I know exactly where all those bags of day-old donuts have been going.

Surprisingly, this action-comedy doesn’t delve into their disappearance at all.

 

After being shot-dead by his partner (Kevin Bacon), police sergeant Walker (Ryan Reynolds) finds himself in an arresting afterlife.

Enrolled in the ethereal Rest In Peace Department by Mildred Proctor (Mary-Louise Parker) and partnered with deceased US Marshal Roy (Jeff Bridges), Nick is tasked with tracking down dead souls clandestinely living among humans.

On the beat, Nick and Roy learn of a plan by the secret dead to reverse the way to heaven, sending all souls back to earth.

Based on an obscure comic book, R.I.P.D. rips off Men in Black, and adds nothing to the cooption but a cartoonish story, hokey acting and lackluster effects.

Besides, a dead police force is nothing but a burden on dead taxpayers.  Red Light

Before Midnight

Before you do anything at midnight, double check the clock to make sure that it’s not actually 12:00 noon.

Fortunately, the couple in this drama has an excellent concept of time.

Nearly a decade after we last saw them, successful American author Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and his French lover Céline (Julie Delpy) are now raising twins.

At the end of their Grecian summer vacation, the pair spends the night at a hotel. During their evening, a heated debate about their relationship is ignited.

While Céline calls Jesse’s fidelity into question, he challenges her parenting skills, which results in her doubting their love.

With its relevant stance on relationship qualms, this second sequel to Before Sunrise serves as an endearing and worthy bookend to the dialogue heavy trilogy that began in 1995.

Luckily, thanks to Greece’s recession, you can easily get out of the doghouse by buying your wife the Parthenon.  Green Light

***Underwear Graduate Degree***

 

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

Economically speaking, most parents would likely prefer to have a permanent high school student as a child than a permanent college student.

Unfortunately, the father in this comedy has the latter.

After seven-years of loafing through college, Van Wilder’s (Ryan Reynolds) dad (Tim Matheson) has enough and cuts off all funding to his son.

Forced to go it alone, Van makes an agreement with school heads that he can cram a year’s worth of information into his head in six days, and finally graduate.

But that won’t be easy, as Van is in a prank-off with a fraternity brother that doesn’t like him hitting on his girlfriend Gwen (Tara Reid).

More gross-out comedy than genuine laughs, for some reason Van Wilder has had a cult-like following that relished its over-the-top sexual perversions, and revel in the leads blasé nature.

Incidentally, the ultimate college prank is convincing students to buy textbooks. 

He’s an Old School Dropout. He’s the…

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