He Cave Paints By Numbers. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of October 4, 2013
Cro-Magnon had the first
granite countertops. First up…
The Croods
The advantage to being a
caveman is that it takes absolutely no effort to stay on a Paleolithic diet.
However, the hunter-gatherers
in this animated adventure are having a hard time eating at all.
Forced to live in a cave
alongside the rest of her family (Nicolas Cage, Catherine Keener, Clark Duke,
Cloris Leachman), teenage troglodyte Eep (Emma Stone) takes every opportunity
to explore the outside.
One day she meets a cave-boy
(Ryan Reynolds), who not only possesses fire but a plan to escape the pending
end.
When an earthquake leaves her
clan homeless, she asks him to help lead her family to safety - much to the
chagrin of her overprotective patriarch.
While the animation is crude
and the history completely skewed, The Croods prospers thanks to its archetypal
characters and its goofy sense of humour.
Furthermore, it’s fascinating
to know that cave people will eventually evolved into Creationists. 0
This is the End
The annoying thing about the
Apocalypse is that God’s name is the only one that will appear in the end
credits.
Fortunately, this comedy’s
end credits are a star-studded affair.
When Jay Baruchel visits LA,
Seth Rogen takes him to James Franco’s house party, and introduces him to his
new friends.
Uneasy with the prominent
partygoers (Emma Watson, Rihanna, Michael Cera, Jason Segel, Mindy Kaling), Jay
flees the festivities only to discover the Rapture has begun.
Hold up in Franco’s house
with Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson and Danny McBride, Jay and Seth work on their
troubled friendship, as they consume drugs and conserve food.
Outside, Hell’s minions stalk
the Hollywood Hills.
Not as funny as projected, this
reality-wrapping parody relies too heavily on movie-references and penis jokes
to propel its unique script.
Besides, everyone knows that
young Hollywood would rather spend their final days in the company of the
paparazzi. 0
***It’s a Cave,
Man***
Encino Man
The fortunate thing for a
caveman in contemporary California is restaurants already carter to his
Paleolithic diet.
Mind you, the modern
early-man in this comedy would prefer pizza to roots.
Excavating his parents’
backyard, high school loser Dave (Sean Astin) and his friend Stoney (Pauly
Shore) uncover an Ice Man.
When he thaws, the duo clean
him up, christen him Link (Brendan Fraser) and take him to school as an
exchange student.
And while Link’s antics land
Dave and Stoney the popularity that they so desperately crave before Prom, it
costs Dave his crush (Megan Ward), and Stoney his best friend.
Despite its feeble fish out
of the Stone Age storyline, Encino Man’s bevy of affable characters and
laughable situations help it evolve from a lame to a lovable farce.
Nevertheless, missing links
shouldn’t be at school all-day. They should be at the museum reenacting their
lives twice every hour.
He’s a Foot-Long Pizza Subspecies. He’s the…
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