Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Crawl Space Invader. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of May 31, 2013

Aliens are going to want their own washrooms. First up…

Dark Skies

To distract UFOs from abducting you while you sleep: grow a barley field around your home’s perimeter.

However, prime crop circle opportunities aren’t enough to keep the aliens in this horror movie from their nightly visits.

When Lacy (Keri Russell) experiences bizarre events around the home that threaten the safety of her children, (Dakota Goyo, Kadan Rockett), her husband, Daniel (Josh Hamilton), installs security cameras in order to catch the perpetrator.

But when footage of otherworldly images looming over their beds at night is captured instead, Lacy and Daniel seek out an authority (J. K. Simmons) on extraterrestrials.

Convinced the creatures are coming for their youngest, the parents vow vigilance.

Torn between video footage ghost story and space alien allegory, Dark Skies ultimately succumbs to its dualistic nature and dearth of chills.

Incidentally, a good way to scare off aliens while you slumber is to wear a sleep apnea mask.  0

Side Effects

When compared to sexual dysfunction, constipation and an irregular heartbeat, depression doesn’t seem so bad.

In this thriller, however, the worst side effect of antidepressant medication is murder.

When Emily (Rooney Mara) kills her husband (Channing Tatum), while on a new drug that Dr. Banks (Jude Law) had just prescribed, his career, family and reputation are completely destroyed.

Convinced that Emily is not as unbalanced as her previous shrink (Catherine Zeta-Jones) had implied, Dr. Banks sets out to clear his good name.

As he exhumes the truth, he is made privy to a plot that will not only send shockwaves through the pharmaceutical community but also the stock exchange.

A timely and enticing capsule comprised of a convincing cast, a well-paced plot and skilled direction from Steven Soderbergh, Side Effects is an easy pill to swallow.

However, if you still desire a prescription for an effective antidepressant, just fake glaucoma.  0

***Lowering the Barbiturates***

Valley of the Dolls

  

A lot less people would be inclined to take antidepressants if they only came in the form of suppositories.

Since they don’t, the girlfriends in this drama pop'em by the handful.

At different points in their careers, fashion model Anne (Barbara Parkins), movie star Neely (Patty Duke), and girl next door Jennifer (Sharon Tate) each become addicted to polychromatic prescription pills colloquially referred to as “dolls”.

Anne takes her dolls to cope with her cheating husband (Paul Burke); Neely needs them for her ego and; Jennifer pops them for depression.

But the highs don’t last and soon all three women must face an array of consequences, from breast cancer to suicidal to psychotic breakdown.

Based on the best seller by Jacqueline Susann, this salacious cautionary tale relies on gratuitous sex and sentimental twaddle to compensate for a flaccid script.

Furthermore, the real pills corrupting young women in the 1960s were the contraceptive kind.

 He’s a Side Affectionate. He’s the…

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