He Feeds the Visitors. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of October 14, 2011
If we don't eat animals then they’d better get jobs. First up…
Zookeeper
One of the benefits to being a zookeeper is having access to all of those exotic meats.
And while the animal handler in this comedy isn’t in it for the Red Panda sausage, he does love to eat.
When hefty, head zookeeper Griffin (Kevin James) is asked by his brother to host an engagement party at the zoo, he agrees whole-heartedly.
However, when his haughty ex-girlfriend Stephanie (Leslie Bibb) shows up at the shindig, Griffin loses his cool.
Later, when reacquainted, Stephanie’s torch for Griffin is re-lit.
But when her request for him to change careers resurfaces, the animals at the zoo (Adam Sandler, Cher, Sylvester Stallone, Nick Nolte) have something to say about it.
While James’ charisma can sustain Zookeeper for a span, this cringe worthy family-comedy should ultimately be kept in captivity.
As for how to make the zoo a more hilarious place to visit, feed the animals fermented fruit. 0
Green Lantern
Having your super-powers derive from a magical ring means that if you ever take it off to do the dishes, and it falls down the drain, your career is over.
The super hero in this action movie, however, doesn’t fear the consequences, or anything else.
When a dying alien from an intergalactic police force bestows Hal (Ryan Reynolds) with a special ring, he involuntarily becomes the first human member of the Green Lantern Corp.
Under the tutelage of the leader (Mark Strong) and other Lanterns (Geoffrey Rush, Michael Clarke Duncan), Hal learns to control the green-essence powered ring in hopes of defeating the fear-absorbing organism that killed his predecessor.
Thanks to a weak script and overblown effects, this cornball comic-book movie based on the DC Comics character is unable to transition from funny pages to feature film successfully.
Furthermore, having a colour in your codename really limits your wardrobe choices. 0
Horrible Bosses
Being the boss means never having to minimize non-work related websites on your computer when someone approaches your desk.
That abuse of authority, along with other complaints, is the reason why the friends in this comedy have decided to kill their bosses.
When three friends, Nick (Jason Bateman), Kurt (Jason Sudeikis) and Dale (Charlie Day), decide to move ahead with their plot to murder their bosses (Kevin Spacey, Colin Farrell, Jennifer Aniston), they seek the advice of a known felon (Jamie Foxx).
Ultimately opting to knock-off each other’s boss, the implementation of their plan is pre-empted when Nick’s boss kills Kurt’s boss and all three become suspects.
With riotous performances across the board, Horrible Bosses is teeming with the kind of laughs that form the basis of a comedy classic.
And while we’d all like to kill our bosses, the self-employed sector would suffer the most dramatic drop in productivity. 0
The Tree of Life
When using flora as a metaphor for family there are many vegetative examples you can cite, including poison ivy, Venus flytrap or a suffocating cactus patch.
However, the plant life that best represents the family unit in this drama happens to be a tree.
Following the news that their teenage son has just died, Mrs. O'Brien (Jessica Chastain) and Mr. O'Brien (Brad Pitt) sink into a deep despair.
In the future, their other son, Jack (Sean Penn), the grown brother of the deceased, recounts his time with his siblings and their parents.
As he recalls the highlights, he also recollects the lowlights involving his father’s ire.
From the big bang to the present, The Tree of Life is a monumental undertaking of visual brilliance and fractured narrative that buckles, at times, under its own ambition.
Besides, if life is really a tree than that would mean humans are its nuts. 0
***Affirmative Reaction***
9 to 5
To ensure that your co-workers don’t snitch on you when you kidnap your boss, nab them on a Friday morning so everyone gets a half-day.
However, the co-workers in this comedy have avoided detection by taking their boss hostage before he arrives at work.
When Judy (Jane Fonda) is hired as a secretary for a sizable company, she is quick to learn that her boss (Dabney Coleman) is a complete creep.
Eventually fed up with his misogynistic manner, Judy and her colleagues (Lily Tomlin, Dolly Parton) decide to take him hostage in his own home.
Meanwhile, in his absence, they begin to implement bold new business ideas that really shake up the company.
A ballsy comedy with feisty performances from the female leads, 9 to 5 is still ahead of its time, socially and comically.
As for getting rid of a female boss for an extensive period, secretly inseminate her.
He works in the Hate Mailroom. He’s the…
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