He’s Having a Hot Attack. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of July 29, 2011
Get me - 42 with a wind-chill...STAT! First up…
Source Code
Throwing yourself in front of a commuter train is the worst way to commit suicide since all of the delayed commuters now hate your guts, too.
Thankfully, the only lives extinguished in this sci-fi movie are the ones aboard the rapid transit system.
Waking on a Chicago-bound passenger train in the body of a stranger, U.S. Army helicopter pilot Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) is bewildered. His uncertainty, however, is abated when a bomb aboard the train detonates.
Later, Stevens is revived inside of a military orb, where he learns from an Air Force official (Vera Farmiga) that his mission is to be sent back in time to prevent the explosion from ever occurring.
A deftly conceived concept, meticulously executed by director Duncan Jones, Source Code is a combustible combination of cold-hearted computation, military mystery and human radiance.
However, if you really want to disrupt the morning commute: commence with road construction. 0
Dylan Dog: Dead of Night
On TV, the key to good paranormal detection is to blow arbitrary sounds completely out of proportion, whilst bathed in the murky glow of night-vision.
Thankfully, the supernatural dick in this horror movie leaves the scare tactics up to the monsters.
A retired mediator for the creatures of the night that populate New Orleans in disguise, private eye Dylan Dog (Brandon Routh) finds himself pulled back in to the shadows when a powerful vampire (Taye Diggs) threatens to reawaken an evil entity that will enslave humanity.
In addition to saving the world, and quelling a pending vampire war with the werewolves, Dylan must also prepare his recently bitten partner Marcus (Sam Huntington) for life as a zombie.
Based on the Italian comic book, Dylan Dog is a poorly acted, sadly crafted, schizophrenic hodge-podge of screwball comedy and low-rent horror.
Besides, all the dames that hire paranormal detectives have piranha-toothed vaginas. 0
***Parallel University Student***
The Butterfly Effect
The best thing about a parallel universe is that you can see what your life would be like if you had ordered the Clubhouse Sandwich for lunch.
Fortunately, the time traveller in this sci-fi movie is interested in things more important than alternate lunch timelines.
As a kid, Evan (Ashton Kutcher) suffered blackouts anytime that something bad happened. Now, as a university student, he finds it difficult to recollect much of his childhood–save for his crush, Kayleigh (Amy Smart).
One day, however, while re-reading his old diaries, Evan discovers that he can re-live those moments when he lost consciousness, fully cognizant and capable of modifying them.
Targeting pivotal moments involving young Kayleigh, Evan begins to adjust past incidents, with mixed results.
With an able cast, slick production and mind-melting material, Butterfly Effect is an agreeable example of alternate realities.
However, in a different reality, I probably hate this movie.
He’s a Great-Great-Grandfather Paradox. He’s the…
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