Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Gel Masked Man. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of May 6, 2011

I cannot keep a secret identity. First up…

The Green Hornet

The reason why most crime-fighters are billionaires is because blue-collar vigilantes can’t afford vehicle, boat, and jet-powered hang-glider insurance.

Thankfully for the masked man in this action/adventure, his alter ego can incur the cost of underwriting automotive law-upholding aides.

After the death of his father, spoiled playboy Britt (Seth Rogan) assumes the mantle of master-criminal Green Hornet and infiltrates the city’s underworld, which is run by the self-conscience criminal Chudnofsky (Christoph Waltz).

Armed with an arsenal amassed by his father’s servant Kato (Jay Chou), Britt unearths an affiliation between city hall and Chudnofsky.

Inspired by the 1930s radio program, this reinvention plays the ludicrous source material as a comedy, with great results: the action is artistic, the jokes are amiable and the story is refreshing.

What's more, as a constantly battered vigilante, if you have a sidekick, you are never too far from a fresh supply of blood and/or organs.  0

The Dilemma

If you ever discover that your best friend’s wife is cheating on him, get her to bring your wife along next time, so that you can hangout with your buddy.

Unfortunately, the pal privy to the amorality of his chum’s chick in this comedy handles the information the wrong way.

While scouting the botanical gardens for his pending proposal, Ronny (Vince Vaughn) spots Geneva (Winona Ryder), the wife of his best friend Nick (Kevin James), kissing another man (Channing Tatum).

Displeased by this discovery, Ronny begins a campaign to expose Geneva. However, she tells Ronny that if he tells Nick anything, she will inform him about her and Ronny's shared past.

Touted as a comedy, The Dilemma delves into dark territory quickly, and stays there. That misdirection, paired with Vaughn’s standard smug shtick, manufactures an unmemorable mess.

Besides, the only appropriate action for this type of dilemma is extortion.  0

***Side-Kicking Ass***

Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze

To receive a descriptor like: The Man of Bronze one would either have to be an inferior athlete, or neglect to properly bribe the IOC officials.

And though the Adonis in this action/adventure has the attributes of an Olympian, the alloy in reference is not to an award but to his epidermis.

Subsequent to his father’s murder, an assassination attempt is made on Doc Savage (Ron Ely), a brainy, brawny, billionaire, who unknowingly has his father’s land claim to a city of gold in his possession.

Aided by an eclectic quintet of sidekicks, Doc heads to the Mayan jungle to stop an evil sea captain and The Green Death from procuring his father's bullion.

Campy to the core but thrilling through-and-through, visionary producer George Pal brings the iconic 1930s pulp character and his cohorts to vivid life.

Unfortunately, with 5 sidekicks, you have to attach 5 sidecars to your motorcycle. 

He’s The Man of Pewter. He’s the…

Vidiot