Be Kind, Please Rewind

He has a Chinese Checkered Past. He’s the…

Vidiot

The Week of 8 Years (November 4, 2010)

Toys are for babies. Play with yourself. First up…

Toy Story 3

The hardest part of donating your toys to charity is the knowledge that some less-fortunate kid will now be playing with your favourite nipple clamps.

Oops! Apparently, you’re not supposed to donate sex toys to charity. Furthermore, the toys in this Pixar animated picture are not being donated to charity, nor were they purchased at a XXX store.

When their owner is packing for college, Woody (Tom Hanks), Buzz Lightyear, (Tim Allen) and the rest of the toys are mistakenly dropped off at a daycare where they not only have to cope with unruly preschoolers, but also a posse of perturbed playthings led by a tyrannical teddy bear (Ned Beatty).

Constructed with the same care, clowning, and craftsmanship as its predecessors, Toy Story 3 will amuse both mature and immature fans alike.

And while giving up your toys is tough, as an adult you finally get to play with matches. 0  

***Boys & Arrows***

The Indian in the Cupboard

Terrific! First we took their land, then we confined them to reserves, now we’ve forced Native Americans to live inside of our furniture.

Fortunately, this kids’ movie is not about constricting a Cree to a credenza – it’s about an Iroquois.

For his 9th birthday, Omri (Hal Scardino) receives a cupboard and a plastic Indian figurine (Litefoot).

When he locks the statuette in the sideboard using a magic key, he opens to find that the toy has come to life.

Next, he places a plastic cowboy (David Keith) into the cupboard. And later, he must animate a plastic medic (Steve Coogan); unfortunately, he has lost the key.

Based on the beloved children’s book, The Indian in the Cupboard may have its faults but at heart it’s a compassionate account of growing up.

However, wouldn’t it be more enlightening for a maturing young man to bring his sister’s Bratz dolls to life?

He’s Causing a Hula-Hoopla. He's the...

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