Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s an Undead-beat. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of October 28, 2010

Why buy Halloween candy when kids bring it to your door for free? First up…

Sex and The City 2

It is very important for a woman to have girlfriends that are not only caring and compassionate but also wear the same size as her.

Fortunately, besides being fluent in fashion, the four females in this franchise follow-up are also interminable conservationists.

When Samantha (Kim Cattrall), Charlotte (Kristin Davis), Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) and Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) are invited to Abu Dhabi, their Western ways, PDA and abhorrence of Muslim culture lands them in hot water with the locals.

What’s more, an old beau causes Carrie to question her marriage to Mr. Big (Chris Noth).

A scant improvement over its 2008 predecessor, S&TC2 finds the characters returning to their crude confabs; unfortunately, those rude roundtables are interspersed with condemnations on how Muslim women dress.

I mean, come on, how would we feel if four Muslim women came here and started complaining about how we let our daughters dress like sluts?  0

The Girl Who Played With Fire

To be fair, the only time a girl ever plays with fire is when she’s firebombing her cheating ex-boyfriend’s vehicle.

And while the girl in this mystery isn’t exacting revenge on an old flame, she is lighting a fire under someone’s ass.

When computer hacker Lisbeth (Noomi Rapace) is accused of murdering a journalist covering a sex trafficking story, she finds herself eluding authorities and a cicatrized face from her past.

Coming to her aid is her old lover Blomkvist (Michael Nyqvist), a colleague of the deceased, who not only wants to help Lisbeth but also finish his associate’s investigation.

The sequel to The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played With Fire is as thrilling and unsettling as its predecessor.

Despite the fact that Lisbeth and Blomkvist’s relationship is hardly mentioned, much is revealed about the formers' traumatic upbringing.

Besides, hackers aren’t the ones killing journalists…bloggers are.  0

Winter’s Bone

Typically, teenagers don’t notice that their father is missing until the day they decide to move out of their mother’s house and live with him.

Fortunately, the daughter of the mislaid man in this chilling whodunit notices immediately.

When her meth-cook father disappears, Ree (Jennifer Lawrence) is left to fend for her younger siblings and bedridden mother. But with no source of income and a lean against the house, she desperately needs to find him, or at least his body.

Unfortunately, her hayseed uncle (John Hawkes) and local drug dealers don’t take kindly to her nosy questions and persistent attitude.

While it starts off sluggish, once this mercurial movie gets rolling it really comes alive with some strong performances and audacious acts of disfigurement.

And while searching for your missing Pa is commendable, as a teen, wouldn’t it be more appropriate to throw a killer house party in his absence?  0

***Harpies Simplex***

The Craft

The reason older women are so interested in witchcraft is because it allows them the opportunity to cast spells that can cause impotency in their ex-husbands.

Fortunately, the four female practitioners of black magic in this hokey horror movie aren’t a bunch of weary old witches, but nubile adolescents.

When high school exiles (Robin Tunney, Neve Campbell, Fairuza Balk, Rachel True) experiment with witchcraft they discover that it can enhance their social standings and settle scores with tormenters.

But playing with the occult proves to be hazardous for the girls and soon jealousy, overzealousness and a boy (Skeet Ulrich) comes between them.

A cloudy concoction of teen angst, cattiness and necromancy, The Craft perfectly portrays the power and pitfalls of hocus-pocus from the female perspective.

And while most would be opposed to witches being enrolled in their school, trust me, burning one before a pep rally really raises the kids’ spirits.

He’s a Frightening Rod. He’s the…

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