Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Hypocritic. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of November 11, 2010

Chopping opinions always makes me cry. First up…

Grown Ups

When old school chums get together to talk about their former junior high coach it’s usually before a grand jury.

Fortunately, that’s not the case with this comedy. Instead, the ex-teammates have regrouped for their coach’s funeral.

To honour his dearly departed trainer, Lenny (Adam Sandler) and his wife (Salma Hayek) open their lake house to his buddies (Kevin James, Rob Schneider, Chris Rock, David Spade) and their families (Maria Bello, Maya Rudolph).

As the friends get down to their old tricks, they discover that they still have a strong connection, which they use to solve each other’s personal problems. 

While it is aswarm in SNL alumni, Grown Ups is a solemn assembly of family-friendly, non-alcoholic jokes delivered by a clusterfuck of castrated comedies.

In fact, this movie is an example of what happens when stand-up comedians don’t die of an overdose or commit suicide early on in their career.  0

Charlie St. Cloud

For a teen driver, the worst part of being in an accident is not having enough time to update their Facebook status before impacting the windshield.

Fortunately, the adolescent driver responsible for the fender-bender in this drama lived to drive distracted again. Unfortunately, his passenger did not.

When Charlie St. Cloud (Zac Efron), an accomplished yachtsman and soon-to-be Stanford freshman, crashes into another vehicle, his younger brother is killed instantly.

Racked with guilt, Charlie sequesters himself to a cemetery, where he regularly plays catch with his brother’s ghost. But all that changes when he’s reunited with a girl from high school, whom he shares a passion for sailing with.

A paranormal parable grafted onto a hokey love story, Charlie St. Cloud is barley buoyant under its own melodrama. But women will like it anyways.

Nevertheless, if given the opportunity to select a ghost to play ball with...pick your dead dog.  0

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Here’s some advice for anyone going toe-to-toe with the world. First, pull its Greenland. Then, poke out its Ireland. Finally, kick it Down Under.

Oops! Apparently, the “world” in the title of this pop culture laden love story is a metaphor, and not an upcoming bout.

When loafer Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) falls for the unconventional Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), he must face-off against her ex-lovers (Chris Evans, Brandon Routh, Mae Whitman, Jason Schwartzman) if he hopes to court her.

Furthermore, Scott must win Battle of the Bands, and keep his budding romance from his current girlfriend (Ellen Wong).   

An illustrious homage to the worlds of anime, gaming, and dating, Scott Pilgrim is a worthy adaptation of the graphic novel created by Canada’s Bryan Lee O'Malley.

However, it’s not surprising a Canuck would create such an iconic comic-book character, since that’s the only thing that those people can read.  0  

Ramona and Beezus

It’s a shame kids today don’t use their imagination, because instead of never seeing their father, they could just pretend he’s in jail.

Luckily, the Quimby kids reside with both parents. What’s more, they also have a good sense of wonder.

When the precocious and klutzy Ramona (Joey King) learns of her father’s (John Corbett) downsizing, she decides she will keep her home from foreclosure through moneymaking schemes.

While her plans fail to prosper, they do, inadvertently, reunite her aunt (Ginnifer Goodwin) with her high school sweetheart (Josh Duhamel). Meanwhile, her older sister Beezus (Selena Gomez) makes her first foray into the dating world.

Inspired by the books by Beverly Cleary, Ramona and Beezus uses contemporary scenarios to bring the bumbling third grader to the present without sacrificing the characters wide-eyed optimism or incurable creativity.

Unfortunately, having an accident-prone child really sucks, because everyone naturally assumes you beat them.  0

***Family Valuables***

Heart and Souls

Since kids can talk to ghosts, we should get them to ask our deceased relatives where they hid all of those rare silver dollars.

Unfortunately, the lost souls haunting the little boy in this comedy are the ones who are asking him for salvation.

Twenty-five years after the four spirits (Charles Grodin, Kyra Sedgwick, Tom Sizemore, Alfre Woodard) that were bound to him after they died in a bus crash disappeared, the now grown up and callous Thomas (Robert Downey Jr.) is surprised to find them asking for his help. In exchange, they assist him with wooing his frustrated girlfriend (Elisabeth Shue).

While not enough time is spent on exploring each of the wannabe-angels unfinished business, Heart and Souls is ultimately an amusing anecdote about removing remorse from your eternal records.

Furthermore, it exposes the prejudiced nature of the afterlife: Rich, white kids can afford to have multiple guardian angels.

He’s a Viewpoint Man. He’s the…

Vidiot