He’s a White-Collar Crime Fighter. He’s
the…
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Week of May 18, 2018
Separate whites, colours and delicates?
Washing machines are racist. First up…
Black Panther
The worst part of being a black superhero
is when you turn supervillains over to authorities you get arrested.
Thankfully, the African-American protector
in this action movie runs his own country.
Sworn to defend the clandestine nation of
Wakanda, the mantle of Black Panther has been passed down through the ages
where it – as well as the title of king – has now been bestowed on T'Challa
(Chadwick Boseman).
But not everyone supports that royal
appointment, namely the outsider Killmonger (Michael B. Jordan) and his arms
dealing ally (Andy Serkis) who is after Wakandan resources.
With a culturally rich narrative that
transcends race and sex, Marvel’s most complex Avenger takes center stage.
Backed by a stellar supporting cast as multifaceted as him, Black Panther’s
first solo outing is not only a milestone for the genre but the industry.
Now, let’s work towards a day when T’Challa
can simply be called: Panther. Green Light
Red Sparrow
The only difference between female spy and
prostitute is one gets to garrote their client afterwards.
For more on the sexual exploits of
espionage look no further than this thriller.
Dominika’s (Jennifer Lawrence) uncle
recruits her to join Russian Intelligence after she injures herself at ballet
and is unable to support her ailing mother.
In spy school, she and other students are
taught the art of seduction in its most brutal forms. Obstinate through the
entire process, Dom eventually graduates to Sparrow status and is assigned to
the US to beguile a CIA agent (Joel Edgerton) for Intel.
Slow, convoluted and graphically violent,
both physically and sexually, this tepid adaptation of the bestseller also
lacks chemistry between leads and spends an inordinate amount of time on rape
and potential rape situations. Meanwhile the action is limited and unsettling.
Incidentally, suave male spies also have to
sleep with fat, old politicians. Red
Light
The 15:17 to Paris
The first thing the US Army teaches you is
which end of the gun to point away from yourself.
Luckily, the recruits in this drama are
already familiar with firearms.
Obsessed with military combat, Spencer
Stone and Alek Skarlatos enlist right out of high school. Leaving their moms
(Judy Greer, Jenna Fischer) behind the pair meet up with their civilian friend
Anthony Sadler for a European vacation.
But when the trio board the 15:17 train to
Paris out of Amsterdam they inadvertently walk into a terrorist plot. Although
unarmed, the Yanks take the armed extremists head-on.
While the heroic actions of the September
2016 event are certainly laudable, having the actual participants portray
themselves in this biography is disastrous. Moreover, having director Clint
Eastwood explore their childhood only makes the heroes seem like dimwitted
warmongering, religious nuts.
Besides, Americans are perpetually poised
to attack anyone who looks like a terrorist.
Red Light
***Purple Panther***
The Phantom
The reason Africa doesn’t have any
superheroes is because they were shipped to the US as slaves.
Sadly, the only guardian the Motherland has
is the white guy in this action movie.
The legend of The Phantom has been told in
African lore for generations. Now, like his father (Patrick McGoohan), Kit
Walker (Billy Zane) must become The Ghost Who Walks.
Sworn to safeguard Bengalla, the purple
protector returns when industrialist Xander Drax (Treat Williams), his deadly
assistant (Catherine Zeta-Jones) and Kit’s ex-girlfriend (Kristy Swanson) come
to the undisclosed island for the powerful Skulls of Touganda.
Released at the end of the pulp hero
renaissance of the 1990s, this earnest adaptation of Lee Falk’s comic strip
icon is faithful to its swashbuckling roots. And while its whitewashed veneer
is troubling, the campy adventure remains fun.
Incidentally, strutting around the jungle
in purple is an excellent way to attract a peahen.
He Wields a Power Ring Tone. He’s the…
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