Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Be Kind, Please Rewind


He’s a Tyrannosaurus Rx. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of September 21, 2018

Prescription drugs killed the dinosaurs. First up….

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom


The big difference between a Disney and a Jurassic theme park is that the workers inside of the dinosaur mascots were eaten.

An active volcano, like the one in this sci-fi movie, would be another disparity between the parks.

Three years after Jurassic World was abandoned to its reptilian inhabitants a volcanic eruption threatens to wipeout the cloned species unless Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard), the previous operations manager, and Owen (Chris Pratt), a Raptor wrangler, can save them from extinction. However, the solution to move the creatures to a private sanctuary may not be in the beasts’ best interest either.

While the visuals continue to dominate in this obligatory sequel to the blockbuster reboot of the franchise, Fallen Kingdom falters when it comes to telling a compelling or innovative story to accompany those eye-popping effects. 

Moreover, the only way to ever gain control over dinosaurs is to clone Fred Flintstone.  Yellow Light


Uncle Drew

Geriatric athletes are popular these days because they physically cannot take a knee during the anthem.

Mind you, the old-timers in this comedy can not only take a knee but also slam-dunk.

Determined to prove his coaching prowess to his rival (Nick Kroll) by winning a street-ball tournament, Dax (Lil Rel Howery) recruits local legend Uncle Drew (Kyrie Irving) to play for his team.

But the elderly baller won’t hit the court unless it’s with his equally aged teammates (Shaquille O'Neal, Chris Webber, Reggie Miller, Nate Robinson), whom Dax must now get game ready to face the younger teams.

Based on a Pepsi advertisement, this feature-length comedy is devoid of laughs. While it is exciting to see these NBA players in action, watching them do so in a grey wigs and face prosthetics is just creepy.

Furthermore, who wants to go watch their sports team play at the Depends arena?  Red Light


Heats Beat Loud

The upside to having your father in your band is that he is fully aware of your heroin addiction.

Thankfully, the only thing holding back the duo in this dramedy is higher education.

Widower Frank (Nick Offerman) deals with the idea of his daughter Sam (Kiersey Clemons) going away to college by starting a garage band with her over the summer. While she is hesitant to get distracted from her studies, her girlfriend (Sasha Lane) convinces Sam to record a song with her dad, which, in turn, becomes a minor hit. Now, Sam’s college dreams are overshadowed by this new opportunity.

While the song recording process captured does serve as an excellent how-to for up-and-coming musicians, the actual songs featured are hardly hit material. However, the characters are real and their relationships relatable.

Plus, when your dad is in your band he can help repair the hotel rooms you trash. Yellow Light

***Mick Drop***


The Commitments

Blues music is not popular in Ireland because the Irish have nothing to be miserable about.

That simple reason is why the band in this comedy chose to cover soul music instead.

Determined to prove his prowess as a band manager, young Dubliner Jimmy (Robert Arkins) puts an ad in the newspaper looking for local talent to start a soul band. Among the freaks that audition, he finds some serviceable horn players and back-up singers.

After weeks of rehearsal, the band garners some local success. But infighting and affairs threaten to derail Jimmy’s dream.

While the songs sung are soul music standards, the new vocal talent behind the melodies brings these classics to life in a new way. Based on the novel by Roddy Doyle, this hilarious toe-tapping adaptation from 1991 still holds up today.

What’s more, it’s nice to see Irishmen playing instruments that aren’t just empty whiskey jugs.

He’s a Diss Track Star. He’s the…

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