Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s Adrifter. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of September 7, 2018

There are no homeless people at sea. First up…

Adrift

The best reason to own a yacht is so that you will be able to escape your creditors.

Fortunately, the couple in this drama won’t have to worry about running in to repo-men.

Just a short while after first meeting in Tahiti, Tami Oldham (Shailene Woodley) and her new seafaring beau Richard Sharp (Sam Claflin) agree to sail his friend’s 44-foot sailboat to San Diego.

Midway through their voyage however the couple encounters a hurricane that not incapacitates Richard and the vessel but also veers it off course. Now it’s up to Tami to steer them back home.

Loosely based on actual events from 1983, this well-acted and stunningly shot retelling tampers with hard facts to create a cloying narrative that’s more interested in romance than survival. Controversial to be sure, the ending weakens Oldham’s real achievement.

Incidentally, when lost at sea just start harpooning whales until Greenpeace shows up.  Yellow Light

Hereditary

If it weren’t for the physical traits we inherit from our parents plastic surgeons would be out of work.   

However, that which is intrinsic in this horror movie cannot be resculpted.

Shortly after her mother’s funeral, Annie (Toni Collette) loses her daughter in an accident caused by her son Peter (Alex Wolff). While the father (Gabriel Byrne) tries to keep the family from imploding, Annie holds séances to reach her deceased offspring and Peter self-harms to cope with the guilt.

But over time the grandmother’s shadowy past begins to shed light on the family’s current turmoil.

While it starts off with some strong performances, inventive camera work and shocking imagery, things quickly go down hill from there: the pace slows to a crawl, the acting curdles and the plot becomes incoherent, bordering on comical.  

Lastly, even if insanity doesn’t run in your family, they can still give it to you. Red Light

 

Ghost Stories

The best way to tell a ghost story is around a campfire with flashlights in broad daylight.

However, light sources of any kind are few and far between in this horror movie.

As the host of a skeptical television program about the paranormal, Phillip (Andy Nyman) has spent his life debunking the supernatural. But when he meets his childhood idol, Phillip is presented with three uncanny cases that not even his mentor could demystify.

As he interviews the subjects (Martin Freeman, Alex Lawther, Paul Whitehouse) Phillip uncovers a hidden connection to his own past that has haunted him in to adulthood.

While the three stories contained within this British anthology based on a stage play vary in their degree of terror, the overarching narrative that they all feed into does provide the most shocking moment of the movie.

Sadly, nowadays ghost stories have been replaced by the 24-hour news cycle.  Yellow Light

***Crystal Ball Gown***

Supernatural

For maximum comfort while possessing, pick a vessel with the same shoe size.

Luckily, the lost soul in this horror movie found the perfect fit.

Paul (Alan Dinehart) is a medium who’s trying to bilk heiress Roma (Carole Lombard) out of her fortune by pretending to be in spiritual contact with her lost brother. However, during one of their séances the spirit of Ruth (Vivienne Osborne), an executed murderess, enters Roma’s body and seduces Paul.

But just as they are about to set sail on her yacht, Roma reveals to Paul that she’s really Ruth, the wife he sent to the electric chair.

While the possession angle of the story is just as goofy as it is nonsensical, the lively antics of the bewitched Carole Lombard are enjoyable to watch; unfortunately, the 1933 special effects are not.

Moreover, no matter whose body you possessed in the 1930s you always end up in the breadline.  

He’s a Debunk Bed. He's....

Vidiot