He’s a Witch’s Brewmaster. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of October 27, 2017
Spirits drinking spirits is cannibalism.
First up…
War for the Planet of the Apes
In a society run by apes you can rest
assured only evolution will be taught in school.
Still, there are a few humans in this
sci-fi/fantasy that favour a creationist curriculum.
When a human militia led by The Colonel
(Woody Harrelson) murders his family, the genetically enhanced simian Caesar
(Andy Serkis) takes a troop of monkeys (Steve Zahn, Karin Konoval) with him on
a mission of revenge.
But Caesar’s vengeance takes a backseat
when he must liberate hundreds of his brethren from The Colonel’s primate
concentration camp before they are eradicated.
While this heady conclusion to the
reimagined Planet of the Apes franchise wears its historical influences on its
sleeve, those inspirations make for a dark final act. Nevertheless, the smidgen
of action, the endless nods to the original series and the CGI are definitely
highpoints.
Furthermore, with monkeys in charge you can
rest assured bananas will never become extinct.
Yellow Light
Annabelle: Creation
If you want to be taken seriously as a
demon do not possess a toy doll that wets itself.
Smartly, the entity in this horror movie
has chosen an antique figurine to haunt.
A doll-maker (Anthony LaPaglia) and his
disfigured wife (Miranda Otto) open their eerie estate to Sister Charlotte
(Stephanie Sigman) and her orphans after they become homeless.
While snooping around the mansion the girls
unlock a bedroom belonging to the doll-maker’s dead daughter, Annabelle. Inside
they discover a porcelain-faced doll possessed by a creature that now wants to
embody one of the waifs (Talitha Bateman).
Another prosaic possession picture for the
junk heap, this prequel to The Conjuring relies solely on jump-scares to
generate its screams. In fact, if it weren’t for its repetitive use of dead
silence before shrieking violins Annabelle’s origin would be a bedtime story.
Moreover, wouldn’t demons be a lot happier
possessing sex dolls? Red Light
Personal Shopper
Being a personal shopper means getting the
high of the buy with none of the remorse.
However, the only high the buyer in this
supernatural thriller wants is a higher plane.
Chiefly employed as a personal shopper for
a Parisian celebrity, Maureen (Kristen Stewart) spends a great deal of her time
trying to contact her deceased twin brother who died of the same heart
condition she has. When she receives a text from an unknown source she
concludes that it came from her dead sibling.
Meanwhile, her boss’ dead body has just
been found and Maureen is the police’s prime suspect.
Understated with moments of terror and
ethereal cinematography to match Stewart’s aloof performance, this esoteric
study on spiritualism slowly pierces the veil in an innocuous yet haunting
fashion that makes this ghost story subtly scary.
Mind you, male ghosts haunting clothing
stores tend to linger around the change rooms.
Yellow Light
***Prime Mating Season***
Murders in the Rue Morgue
If apes want to murder humans then they
will need to send some monkeys to law school first.
Nevertheless, the primate in this horror
picture plans to tackle our justice system unaided.
When his fiancée Camille (Sidney Fox) is
kidnapped and Camille’s mother (Betty Ross Clarke) is found dead clutching a
clump of mysterious fur, detective Dupin (Leon Ames) takes the sampling to the
morgue for analysis.
Their findings eventually lead Dupin to a
Parisian sideshow where he discovers that a deranged scientist (Bela Lugosi)
has been conducting experiments that would see him make a hybrid mate for his
talking ape, Erik.
Loosely based on Edgar Allan Poe’s short
story about an escaped orangutan, this gorilla suit adaptation from 1932
actually improves on Poe’s escaped ape concept by adding Lugosi’s mad scientist
character to the mix.
Incidentally, it’s cost effective to send
convicted killer apes to zoos instead of prisons.
He’s a Gorilla Suit of Armour. He’s the…
Vidiot
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