Friday, September 8, 2017

Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s the She-Devil’s Advocate. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of September 8, 2017

Female prisons are half the size but twice the cost of mens prisons. First up…

 
Rough Night

Women only get speeding tickets if the cop doesn’t find their sobbing sufficient.

Unfortunately for the women in this comedy, the waterworks won’t get them off murder.

For her bachelorette party, Jess’ (Scarlett Johansson) estranged friends from college (Kate McKinnon, Zoë Kravitz, Ilana Glazer, Jillian Bell) take her to Miami for a weekend filled with booze, drugs and dancing. During the frivolity, however, they accidentally kill a male-stripper. Now they must dispose of his body before the cops arrive.

Things take a turn for the worst when the actual stripper they hired shows up.

A raunchy girls’ trip that reduces its female leads down to obnoxious frat boy stereotypes, this feminist comedy foolishly believes a derivative script filled with limp dick jokes is empowering to women, or even funny for that matter.

Besides, real women on all-girls’ getaways spend their time texting their boyfriends to make sure they’re not cheating.  Red Light

 

Megan Leavey

The upside to dogs in the army is that you can put them to sleep when they get PTSD.

Fortunately, the furry GI in this biography has a friend to help him adjust.
                                                                                            
Desperate for discipline and direction, Megan Leavey (Kate Mara) joins the Marines. Aimless even after basic training, she doesn’t find her calling until discovering the K-9 unit. Paired with a bomb-sniffing German Shepard, Megan’s shipped off to Iraq to detect IEDs.

When one of those makeshift bombs ends her military career, Megan fights her superior (Common) for the right to adopt her injured partner. 

A wholly realistic war profile, this straightforward retelling of Megan’s real-life struggles at home and abroad is a well-acted, finely crafted family drama that doesn’t over indulge in the usual canine schmaltz associated with animal-centric story lines.

Incidentally, IEDs would be harder for dogs to find if they weren’t made from tuna cans.  Yellow Light

 

All Eyez on Me

After much inquiry we can safely conclude that Tupac Shakur was killed by his own hologram.

However, this biography maintains that the rapper’s murder is unsolved.

Raised by a mother who was a member of the Black Panther Party, Tupac Shakur (Demetrius Shipp Jr.) grew up with a keen sense of social justice. He would later interpret those feelings of unrest through rap music.

After a stint with Digital Underground, Tupac goes solo. Around the same time he starts acting and collaborating with Dr. Dre. Following a stint in prison, he signs with Death Row Records. One fatal night in September, however, changes everything.

More of a chorological account of his life than an in-depth analysis of his persona, this slapdash memoir does have a few good performances but overall fails to go behind the music.

Regrettably, Tupac Shakur didn’t live long enough to see his white detractors co-opt Hip-Hop.  Red Light   

***Victory Lap Dance***

 
        
Very Bad Things

The purpose of having a stag is to remind the bachelor of how pathetic single life is.

Unfortunately, the groom in this comedy may be spending his wedding in jail.

For his bachelor party, Kyle’s (Jon Favreau) fiancée (Cameron Diaz) has arranged for him and his friends (Jeremy Piven, Christian Slater, Daniel Stern) to spend the weekend in Las Vegas.

Things go awry, however, when they kill a stripper, dismember her body and bury it in the desert. Back home, they have a hard time keeping the secret and as a result scramble to shift the blame as more bodies pile up.

With deplorable characters in over-the-top situations, this disturbingly dark comedy from 1998 lacks a conscience along with any plausibility. Regardless, this cult hit is actually more relevant today then when it tanked 20 years ago.

Lastly, its more cost-effective to hold a his and hers stripper strangling party.

He’s the Second Best Man. He’s the….

Vidiot









No comments:

Post a Comment