He’s a New Born Babe Magnet. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of July 28, 2017
Infants are the future. First up…
The Boss Baby
The best time to ask your newborn boss for
a raise is when you're changing their diaper.
Unfortunately, the CEO in this animated
family movie always has the advantage.
Tim's (Tobey Maguire, Miles Bakshi) perfect
life is disrupted when his parents (Lisa Kudrow, Jimmy Kimmel) have another
child, Boss Baby (Alec Baldwin). Sharply dressed and keenly acute, the
husky-voiced youngster informs Tim that he has been sent from elsewhere to turn
the tide in the babies' battle against puppy popularity.
But if Tim doesn't help stop the release of
an everlasting puppy, Boss Baby will become his brother forever.
An unsettling blend of low fertility rate
propaganda, Loony Tune-esque sex education and smart mouthed infants,
DreamWork's latest offering borrows too heavily from funnier sources. Although
Baldwin's voice work is exceptional as always, nothing much else in this
bizarre cartoon works.
Besides, kids already know that all babies
come from China. Yellow Light
Ghost in the Shell
Cybernetic implants will make it hard for
women to say their vibrating breasts are natural.
Thankfully, the enhanced lady in this
sci-fi flick is comfortable in her synthetic skin.
The mind of Section 9 assassin Major
(Scarlett Johansson) is the only part from her original body occupying her new
metal shell. But when a cyber-terrorist (Michael Carmen Pitt) targets her
benefactor, what little memories she retained may now be as artificial as her.
With help from her partner (Pilou Asbæk)
and designer (Juliette Binoche), Major unravels her origins, which later leads
her to a showdown with an eight-legged mecha.
While it is pretty to look at its Neo Tokyo
esthetic, this whitewashed and ultimately Americanized live-action adaptation
of the beloved cyberpunk anime over explains the narrative with dumbed down
meditations on the mind, social unrest and future shock.
Fortunately, once your body is robotic you
can eat cured meats again. Yellow Light
Gifted
The key to raising a gifted child is
selling them to science before you get too attached.
Unfortunately, the mother in this dramedy
died before getting her payday.
Frank (Chris Evans) gallantly accepts
guardianship of his niece Mary (Mckenna Grace) after her mother's death. Like
her mathematician mother, Mary has no trouble solving her first grade teacher's
(Jenny Slate) rudimentary math problems – and she let's her know it.
Mary's air of superiority soon lands her
into trouble. Luckily her talent with formulas finds her grandmother (Lindsay
Duncan) taking an invested interest in her. So much so, she sues Frank for
custody.
A paints-by-numbers prodigy anecdote that
strokes its brush well within the lines, this charming but predictable squabble
only succeeds thanks to its leads who bring humanity to this glorified custody
battle.
Incidentally, the best way to knock a
know-it-all math genius down a few pegs is with gym. Yellow Light
***Child Genius at Work***
Little Man Tate
People prefer smart children because smart
teenagers are assholes.
Luckily, the wunderkind in this drama is
still cute enough not to be a jerk.
Dede (Jodie Foster) is a single mom
struggling to raise her gifted 7-year-old Fred (Adam Hann-Byrd) on her own.
When a psychologist Jane (Dianne Wiest) notices Fred's aptitudes for math and
piano she suggests he attend her institute for exceptional youth.
Fred's later enrolled in university where
he meets a coed (Harry Connick Jr.) who he connects with. Meanwhile, Jane moves
to exploit Fred's talents on TV while his mom is on summer vacation.
Although a typical child prodigy movie,
right down to the annoying kid genius, this Jody Foster directed picture
manages to capture the pressure put on both phenoms and parents to succeed.
This achievement alone makes it notable.
Plus, it's nice to see child math prodigies
before they grown up and kill themselves.
He’s a Crystal Methematician. He’s the…
Vidiot
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